In my book, [Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula [ https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-981-96-5326-3 ] I talk about the adjustments needed to smoothly adapt to new countries and cultures, but I realized I forgot to talk about the bottom of your feet! and shoes! and right hands! so I will address those issues here.

Firstly, a piece of advice that is constantly repeated for newcomers to the Arab world is: don’t point the sole of your foot at someone. This is repeated like a mantra, but I didn’t talk about it in my book because, to me, to focus simply on one aspect of sitting is not helpful.

The issue is not just ‘the sole of your foot/ shoe’ – it’s that lounging/ sitting casually in business settings is not good behavior. And the reason that it is not good behavior is that you need to show your ability to control yourself (body movement and emotions) at all times.

So it’s not useful to list all the things you should not do: don’t slouch, don’t sprawl, don’t scratch yourself, etc. And it’s not useful to think in terms of which actions are ok in which locations – that is too much data to try to keep straight.

The correct way to maneuver is much harder than lists of dos and don’ts; the correct way to fit in is to constantly check what other people are doing. Most of the locals on the Arabian Peninsula are in tribes – being “tribal” means continually deciding when to be part of the group and when to do as you please. As a newcomer, you need to work to be part of the group.

So don’t walk around saying to yourself “don’t cross my legs!” – ask yourself “what are other people doing?” If everyone is sitting still with both feet on the ground, then that is what you do. If they are drinking tea, you drink tea. And if for some reason, you need to do something that no one else is doing, don’t bring the attention of the whole group to you. If you are diabetic and someone places cup of tea in front of you, either decide not to drink any or whisper to the person, “no sugar.” Don’t explain or create a group discussion centered on what you want.

Another piece of advice that comes up is: take off your shoes if you are in someone’s house. That’s true but, of course, the issue is more complex. The good news is that you probably won’t be invited to a local’s house. The bad news is that if you are invited, you need to be barefoot – no shoes, no socks – and for people from cultures where shoes are always worn indoors, this can be uncomfortable.

Going into someone’s house is not like going through the security check at the airport, where people line up patiently behind you as you sort out what you are doing. If you aren’t fast, your host might think that you are deliberately stalling and they will start insisting you come in with your shoes on. So you are leaning on the doorjamb, trying to unlace/ unbuckle your shoes and pull your socks off while your host is telling you that it’s not necessary and you should feel free to stomp over the antique carpets in dirty shoes. Don’t get caught it that type of situation; make sure you have slip-ons (like driving shoes). For women, talk to your hostess ahead of time if you can; taking off your shoes and putting on black, nylon footies with a lace pattern and no-skid soles might work for formal parties.

Lastly, newcomers are told to eat with their right hand. True, but there are two other aspects to consider. First is that some locals on the Arabian Peninsula are left-handed. It is not like someone will gasp with horror if you pick up your fork with your left hand. Don’t make a disaster trying to use only your right hand at a formal dinner if you have never eaten like that before. However, if there is a shared platter of food, you will not want to use your left hand so try to figure out a work-around (quietly ask for a plate, use a utensil to bring food from the platter to your plate).

Second, left hands are viewed as unclean (used for dealing with bodily functions) so everyone has to adjust; you should only use your right hand to give someone something, including pieces of paper, plates of food, cups of tea, pens, keys, etc. This can get confusing as sometimes people greet each other by shaking right hands and gripping with the upper part of the other person’s right arm with their left hand – but the left hand is touching fabric, not the person.

Not using your left hand is difficult because there are so many actions you do all the time (like giving change or passing something to the person next to you) and there is usually no outside reinforcement to remind you (i.e., people will usually not say “use your right hand!”). You might hear “just set it down” but not understand that the reasoning is that you are offering something with your left hand.

As I said, no one will faint in shock if you make a mistake but fitting in means mental effort; there are no easy answers.

Bibliography for ‘Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula’ (2025, Palgrave Macmillan)

Practicalities of Moving to the Arabian Peninsula: Dealing with Loss

Ethnography – Staying Calm

Practicalities of Moving to the Arabian Peninsula: Navigating Public Spaces