Ethnography – Whatever You Do, Don’t Smile, part 2 of Discussing Photographs

Part 1: Ethnography – Finding the Middle Ground, part 1 of Discussing Photographs

Every so often in ethnographic work you hit a cultural construction which, as broad-minded as you want to be, just hits you as wrong. One of the blocks for me is the Dhofari cultural construct of not smiling in wedding photos.

The first time I saw a wedding album I was shocked – photo after photo of people looking stone-faced. When I remarked that no one was smiling, I was told that a bride should not look glad that she is leaving her family. That has changed a little for women in the last 20 years, but for men looking serious is still key.

On their wedding party announcements/ invitations, men often use a professional photographer and try to look as impressive as possible with a good shave and stern expression. They might borrow a bisht (a sleeveless cloak made of transparent black- or gold-colored cloth), expensive masar (headscarf), gold pen (to tuck into the placket) and/ or sword in engraved silver sheath.

At the groom’s wedding party, friends and brothers will take photos which are the record of the event that live on in men’s phones and are widely circulated. There are almost always photos of the groom (dressed as he was for the e-invite) with brothers, friends, his father, etc. These photos are often put on What’sApp status (meaning, they are extant for 24 hours) and thus are one of the few ways a man’s face goes into the public sphere.

My favorite part of these parties is that men take photos of themselves which are, to my eyes, amusing because everyone looks angry. The need to appear in-control in public and for the groom to be serious means that the men are often frowning and the groom is often holding some kind of weapon as a symbol of his ability to protect his bride.

It’s a fascinating study in perception as sometimes friends ask to see photos of the research guys and the only photos I have are ones from weddings, so I hand over a photo of four men who look coldly furious and have to explain how patient they are with me and how much I trust them. The effect is even more pronounced when they all wear black reflective sunglasses.

I write about this issue of photos in Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula  https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-981-96-5326-3 ] because how you present yourself is important.

For researchers, sometimes when you first arrive and start to meet people, one or several locals might quickly become friends which might be a blessing or might lead to complications. Researchers who are “adopted” by a local and hasten to adopt local clothes, languages, traditions, etc. can become a type of pet, rather than viewed as an equal. I call this problem “dancing monkey” because the researcher might be asked to perform some aspect of local culture (speech, dress, cooking, etc.) for a video which is put on social media. This might look like teasing/acceptance but it can also be very disrespectful and the researcher might be seen as childish.

Being social media famous for doing a local dance can be helpful for some types of research, disastrous for others. If you are in town to research music/dancing, a video might help you find contacts. If you are female and trying to do work with local women, a viral video of you dancing in front of men may cause some women to refuse to meet with you.

In the same way, putting a smiling photo of yourself into circulation may make you appear unserious. You want to aim for better than driver’s license photo, not as good as glamour shot.

Bibliography for ‘Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula’ (2025, Palgrave Macmillan)

Ethnography – Staying Calm

Leaving Oman: Grief, Grandeur, Museums and Bringley’s ‘All the Beauty in The World’

Ethnography – Navigating Shaking Hands on the Arabian Peninsula