(photo by Onaiza Shaikh, Instagram: Onaiza_Shaikh)

Culture Shock – Communication is Always the Worst Part, part 1

I realized as I am working on my next book, Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions (accepted for publication at Palgrave Macmillan), that I am often giving the advice “don’t lie” in different contexts.

For teachers, I mean: don’t say anything to your students that you can’t back-up. Making idle threats signifies that your word can’t be trusted. Once students think you say things you don’t mean, then trying to give directions and enforcing rules becomes progressively more difficult.

For researchers, I mean: don’t try to trick your informants. Explain what you are trying to do in realistic and honest terms. I wish researchers on the Arabian Peninsula who despise the people they are studying would be clear about their disdain so that there could be some honest dialog. Just writing down responses while silently reviling the people you are interviewing does not seem an effective way to do research to me.

For business professionals, I mean: don’t lie at the office by exaggerating your connections, your abilities, your background or your opinions.  

This is a large generalization that I am still thinking about/ trying to refine but what I see as a common trope in the States is that a ‘boss’ will speak more and employees will listen in one-on-one informal interactions. [I am not talking about formal contexts such as employee reviews or giving information.] Even kindly, well-meaning bosses may assume that they have interesting experiences to share and are often used to people listening carefully to them.

What I often found on the Arabian Peninsula was that non-North American, -UK and -EU managers often want underlings to talk in social conversations/ informal settings because of a differing understanding of the purpose of those conversations.

To me, the purpose is different because of how different cultures conceive of finding out and using personal information. In the States, many people are on websites such as LinkedIn. They often have a personal website connected to their university and/ or job, as well as various kinds of social media, so it’s easy to get data about someone. Plus, most employers have screening as a step in the hiring process and want a diverse workplace, or at the least have to follow state/ federal laws about employee protections.

So, pace outliers such as George Santos, people in a workplace usually trust that others are who they represent themselves to be. If someone says that won X prize or finished Y achievement, there will be some sort of digital proof. Thus, bosses don’t need to figure out who they are working with.

Often on the Arabian Peninsula, it is more difficult to get accurate information about someone. Someone might not be on LinkedIn, or their university/ former workplace might not have an active web presence so it’s impossible to verify their stated qualifications. A person’s social media presence might not be in their name as they might have opinions which would be problematic for their family, social group, workplace or government. And in tribal societies, you could have several people with the same first name, father’s name and tribe name but who have very different levels of social capital.

So, managers might use chit-chat as a way to gather more information, at the same time employees use social gatherings to highlight their social, academic or business credentials. I knew one person who would tell higher-ups that their grandmother was originally from the higher-ups’ country. Over the years, their grandmother changed nationality four times as the person tried to form connections with bosses from various cultures.

Another aspect of social discussions at work is to instill fear. I have known several people from one Arab country (not on the Arabian Peninsula) who would drop an obscure fact about my life into conversations. The first few times I showed my amazement and asked how they knew. They smiled and refused to explain. I realized that the goal was to put me on guard so I stopped reacting. I have never had that kind of interaction with an American.

I could drive myself crazy wondering how they figured out some obscure fact about my life but the easy way to live is to always tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may.

Culture Shock: The Parable of the Boxes

Reflections on Ethnographic Research: Getting it Wrong

Culture Shock: Bumpy Reentry and Moral Dilemmas

Teaching: Reflections on Culture Shocks