A Dhofari friend recently posted these older photos of houses in the Dhofar region.
Houseways: Doorways – Design and Culture/ المداخل
Houseways: Entrance Ways – Form Follows Function; طرق المداخل – الشكل يتبع الاختصاص
Selected references related to Houseways in Southern Oman, Oct. 2022
Reflections on Houseways Research
(photograph by Onaiza Shaikh)
When the publisher of my forthcoming book about marriage in Dhofar, Oman asked for a short article about my book to put on their webpage, I didn’t know what to write [ blog.anthempress.com/2026/04/17/marriage-and-peace/ ]. In literature, marriage is the ending for comedies, but the Arabian Peninsula and Arabian/ Persian Gulf are now enveloped in tragedies. It feels wrong to be writing about joy in the midst of such grief. But perhaps that is the point: hoping for the return of joy by remembering and explaining that joy when everything is bleak, like Samwise talking about the Shire when he and Frodo are on Mount Doom.
As I was writing the book, I focused on trying to accurately describe the information I knew connected to marriages of Dhofari Omanis and the stories I heard. It was only later I realized that, in focusing on being exact, I didn’t talk about how wonderful it is to attend women’s wedding parties.
An ethnographer is supposed to participate, understand, record, interpret and, if need be, replicate. Maybe there is fun along the way, but I don’t remember reading in any of the anthropology texts about the Arabian Peninsula: I had such a blast at the party, I want to go one every week!*
But I told the research guys that, for me, a perfect month meant two weekends camping, one weekend at home and one weekend with a woman’s wedding party. They rolled their eyes. The research guys are always glad when a brother, cousin, friend or colleague is getting married, but their wedding parties are not very relaxing. First of all, men usually need to give money, which means budgeting finds to make sure there is enough to give (see Risse 2015). Women only give gifts to very close female friends and relatives. If a woman does not work, other women will pay her share.
Second, Dhofari men have wider circles of acquaintances whose wedding they need to attend. Men are usually expected to appear at the wedding of all cousins (which can be mean 50 or more people), aunts and uncles (who might be younger than him), neighbors and friends. Both brothers and sisters gather to figure out who will go to which wedding parties on any given weekend but men often end up with 5 to 15 parties on one weekend, while women will attend one. For example, if a set of brothers and sisters have 6 close relatives who will marry in one weekend, all brothers usually go to all 6 male wedding parties and each sister would go to one of the brides’ parties. The brothers figure out the order in which they will visit the parties; the sisters will divide the parties between them.
If a man works in an office with ten men, he will often go to the party if any of the men, or their sons, marry. If a Dhofari woman works with ten other women, they will often be a party in the office (sometimes subsidized by the company or each women bringing one item), but not the expectation that all women will attend each other’s weddings.
Men only need to stay at the party for 15-30 minutes, but given that the events might be in 4 different towns, they can spend from 9am until 2pm on a Saturday driving and visiting. Plus the ‘system’ of every party is the same so there is almost no variation. Every man is in a clean dishdash; there is tea and coffee to drink, rice and meat to eat.
Also men need to make sure they comport themselves carefully when they are in public: recognizing and greeting each other, appearing serious, speaking well and listening to elders. A wedding party can be a chance to catch-up and chat, but there are so many people around, it’s not wise to have private conversations. I always think of men at gatherings as being at ‘parade rest’ in that men are never really relaxed. A good man in public is always looking about him, noticing who is there, who is talking to who, etc. Only with their own group, men he has known for years if not decades, can men let down their guard.
But Dhofari female wedding parties are fun. If it is at the bride’s house, there are plenty of women to share the work. I have gone to several in which I was invited by a sister of the bride, who was busy ten minutes an hour or so; the rest of the time she chatted with me or greeted other guests.
All women walk around and greet all the other women when they arrive, so you know who is there and it’s fine to ask someone as you shake their hand, “who are you?” or introduce yourself. Everyone is happy, chatting and (oh so important!) wearing what they want. Some women go all out with the make-up, jewelry, fabulous up-do and a dress that reflects hours of work getting the right fabric, the right design and the right trim. Or you can show up in a cotton dhobe (loose housedress) and a bare face. Sisters of the bride and groom and a woman who was recently married often need to be in fancy clothes, but there is lee-way for a woman who doesn’t want to have an elaborate presentation.
So you show up in a long, loose dress; get warmly greeted; choose what to drink from trays of coffee, tea and juice that are offered; and sit surrounded by girls and women in colorful dresses. There’s lots of perfumes, lots of finger-food, dancing and plenty of time to chat, but you can also pull out your phone and tune out for awhile. What’s not to love? (Well maybe if you are allergic to perfumes…)
The first one wedding I attended was a little awkward. I didn’t know the bride that well and I was with several other ex-pats; none of us knew what to do. And I left one wedding party early because the person who invited me wasn’t there and women were unfriendly. But the other 17 parties were wonderful.
I have many happy memories of chatting with good friends and laughing with new acquaintances. I was always asked if I was married and sometimes when I said no, women would offer to marry me to their husband. So we would run with that joke for a hour, me asking how much money I would get as dowery, if I would get my own house, etc. or we would talk about where I worked, or they would explain who all the other women were. It was all relaxed and, as one friend said, “no protocols.” If you needed to leave early, you left. If you didn’t want to eat, as long as you had a token amount of food on a plate in front on you, you could avoid pressure from your hostess.
Sitting in a bright pink velvet dress festooned with rhinestones, which had been sprayed with glitter perfume, an armful of colored bangles and bare feet, I was as happy as a clam. I don’t think I will ever have an occasion in the States to wear that many sparkles.
At picnics with the research guys, I was in drab-colored loose pants and long tunic, no make-up and no perfume but the feeling was similar. For the people in the hakli (also referred to as qara) groups of tribes I do research with, communal events means people working to create a positive atmosphere. The goal is always no drama. If you have a bad day or are in the middle of a personal tragedy, you do your best not to show it.
I have written about how this emphasis on staying positive is sometimes not seen as work by non-Omanis, but if you have ever had to attend a celebration in the midst of a personal struggle, you know how difficult it is. I joke that there is no TMI or over-share in Dhofar as the people I know keep their emotions in check. My male and female friends are in their 30s, 40s and 50s so self-control is of paramount importance.
Predator Anthropologists, Anthropologist Predators: Anthropological Metaphors in Popular Movies
Food Essays – Grocery Stores, Recipes, Expat Food and Littering
Risse, M. “Generosity, Gift-giving and Gift-avoiding in Southern Oman,” Proceedings of the Seminar for Arabian Studies 45 (Oxford: Archeopress) 2015: 289-296.
* Some of the accounts about Yemen had a little of that attitude, especially about qat chews but there was always a need for justification. Qat fields take up water that could be used for growing food and fodder and explaining that sitting around and chatting for many hours every day is a necessary part of life can mean sidestepping the issue of what structures and supports are in place that allow for certain groups to spend every afternoon and evening relaxing.
plans by Maria Cristina Hidalgo, https://www.mariacristinah.com/ – first published Oct. 20, 2021
This essay focuses on areas which are perceived as a home. For both picnics and camping, all the general understandings of etiquette followed in houses apply although usually everyone takes on the role as host to some degree. For example, rather than the host pushing people to eat or drink, when any person opens the coolbox, they will act like a host (asking each person what they would like) before they take something to drink. Food that is opened is passed around before the person who opened the package takes any. The man who is cooking might ask a man who comes late to bring fresh bread or more supplies such as water although no one would ever ask a “guest” to bring anything to one’s house.
Further, the cook decides when to eat, but unlike inside a home, in which the hosting family must do all the work, all the people should share by clearing space on the mat, setting out a plastic cover, getting the hot sauce, cutting the limes, etc. And people should, of their own accord, help with the clean-up.
In general, picnicking in open space means creating a private salle. Dhofaris on picnics see themselves as inhabiting a homespace which is inviolate. The space is always clearly defined either by bodies (a group of women sitting in a tight circle) or mats; if there are women, the space must never be approached unless there is specific, immediate need. Men will approach other groups of men to ask for information or share food, but not a group of woman. Cars are always parked to block the groups from view.
Some families share one large mat; other families might make two seating areas, one near the car and one at more of a distance. The two spaces act as salle and majlis; as in a house, small children will act as messengers and carriers and have freedom of both mats and the space between them.
The exact amount of space depends on the landscape. The zone under temporary control of the family might be very large or, in crowded places like beaches on the night of the full moon, might only encompass a few meters more than the mat with the car at an angle chosen for privacy. In open areas like the desert or near-desert open spaces, people should camp out of sight of others.
Government- and hand-built straha (“hut”) are important in that they are roofed; shade is essential in Dhofar for most of the year. Both kinds of shelters are first come-first serve. Even if a man made the structure himself, if someone has parked in front of it and set up camp, the builder has no recourse and must wait until that person has left. Sometimes, men will leave bundles of wood, their blankets and some supplies in a shelter and go fishing; no one will take the space or steal the provisions.
Once the car is parked in front; the shelter is treated like a person’s house whether it is occupied for a few hours or days. As with picnics, the car acts as the bab, the gate in the wall around the house. No one will come nearer than the car without calling out loudly and waiting to be greeted. Normally, even if the person is invited to come closer, they will stay on the far side of the car and explain what they want, to ask for something or give away food. Since there are no internal divisions in strahas, the space is like a salle and a man will usually not accept to sit down or come close unless he is a close friend.
Camping is slightly different as there are three layers while strahas and picnics have only the dichotomy of being outside (the far side of the cars, mats or circle of bodies) and inside (where the people are sitting).
The first layer is where the cars are parked, an area that functions like a hosh. Anyone can walk on the far side of the cars without acknowledging/ being acknowledged. On beaches, the area below the high tide mark is see as a free passageway. The passer-by might lift his hand or call out, but a man walking next to the water or beyond the cars is like a man walking on the far side of a house wall. A stranger who approaches a camping area and needs help will not come closer than the cars. For example, he will stand on the far side and call out his request for a tow or a tow-rope.
The second space, like a majlis, is the public area for friends and family, usually delineated by mats in the space bounded by the cars and whatever natural features are used such as the ocean, wadi walls, rocks and drop offs. Once a man has approached, called out and been invited “in,” he may join the group and sit on the mat. If he is older, younger men will offer him their chairs or pillows to lean on. The new-comer, as in a majlis, will be offered whatever there is to eat or drink.
The third space, corresponding to the bedroom, is the area used for sleeping. This can be all or part of the inside of the shelter or the area closest to the overhang and is delineated by either piled or set out sleeping mats, pillows, bags of clothing, etc. This zone should never be acknowledged or approached by anyone who is not spending the night; sleeping bags, blankets and personal gear are treated as invisible. A man might reach over and take his blanket to use as a pillow to lean against, but no one else should touch it unless the owner offers it although food, juice, soda, water and the accoutrements for tea are available to everyone.
Safety on picnics and while camping is first and foremost about wild animals: scorpions and snakes in sandy and rocky places, wolves and hyenas in unpopulated areas. The site has to be chosen with care and a fire needs to be lit after dark. Foodstuffs need to be put in cars or well-packed and placed near the fire/ sleeping people to keep them safe from foxes. Animal attacks are very rare but keeping a fire going is essential in areas away from towns.
Example of set-ups for picnic on a beach and camping. Note cooking fire is away from mat and sited in reference to prevailing wind; cars are parked to provide privacy.
Houseways: How to “Read” a House for Information about the Occupants
Photos of houses in the Salalah area
Houseways – Balancing Privacy and Hospitality within an Apartment
[this essay is part of a series about the practicalities and pragmatics of one-, two- or three-story houses built within the last few decades on one or two plots of land in the Dhofar region of Oman; extremely expensive houses often take up three or more plots and have very different architectural styles; first published in Spring, 2021] – photo by Onaiza Shaikh
In Dhofari-designed houses the roof is accessed by an internal staircase; this necessity creates certain ‘rules’ about house architecture and space use. First, because the floor, roof and steps are from poured cement and there needs to be space for the support poles, there are always landings and an empty space next to the main staircase (see below 1). Even the back set of stairs (in large houses) are wide with an open area at the bottom. As stairs aren’t built narrowly between two walls, it is easy to get large pieces of furniture to the upper stories. Further, because there is always open space on at least one side of the main staircase, there are always banisters [handrails supported by balusters].
Second, there is always empty space under the stairs which can be used for storage or decorated with a piece of furniture. Third, there is always a landing at the top of the stairs which is usually used as a storage space. This landing space can look like, from outside, a small, four-sided “hat” or cupola. Normally the cupola has windows on several or all sides which, depending on the house design, brings light into the hallway below. The roof of this small space is accessed by a ladder and often holds satellite dishes and the round, white plastic water tank. Water comes from the municipal supply or a well and comes into the house using gravity, although some houses have a small pump to increase force water up into the tank.
In some larger houses, there is both a square room at the top of the stairs and a decorative cupola which is round and is entirety made of glass.
Another aspect of house patterns is that while almost all modern houses have flat roofs, looking at roof accessibility can tell you if the house is Dhofari-designed [meaning either the architect is Dhofari or a Dhofari is planing to live in the house.] While Dhofaris don’t necessarily use the roof space, it is always very easy to enter. If one can only get on the roof by a ladder, the house is not Dhofari-designed.
When cement block houses started to be built, roof-lines often looked like battlements with the edge wall as a parapet with crenellations, sometimes fashioned to look like the distinctive local style of incense burners, majmar (see below 2). Now there are many choices including closely spaced decorated balusters, glass inserts, metal railing, etc. (see below 3).
By law, all roofs have some sort of wall around the edge for safety. The most common type is plastered cement blocks up to waist height. Sometimes there is no discernible difference between wall of the highest floor and the roofwall, e.g. there is a smooth facade until the top of the roof wall, which often has a cornice with a dentil pattern. Sometimes there is a clear division in that the roofwall protrudes slightly and is painted/ decorated. Some newer houses have a flat roof that is smaller than the footprint, a wall at the edge, then a slope of three to five courses of clay tile which meet the wall of the upper story.
Most roofs have a series of lights, often looking like small lanterns, placed at intervals along the roof wall (see below 3).
Roofs are not seen as part of the living space although there might be a metal or poured cement roofed area for women and children to sit outside, instead of sitting on the front steps. If there is not enough room in the hosh (courtyard), there might be a clothesline (as clothes dryers are rare) and miscellaneous objects which wouldn’t be damaged by being outside, such as leftover tiles. Sometimes there is a laundry room, an extra room for the maid and/ or small room for storage, either free-standing or sharing a wall with the small room at the top of the stairs.
A roof can be finished, meaning that the homeowner does not mean to build another story, or unfinished, meaning although the roof might be tiled and/ or have decorations such as crenelations the owner might build an additional story. This type will have distinctive short, poured cement pillars which cover reinforcing bars, aka rebar. When an upper story is added, the tiles, decorations and tops of the short pillars are broken. [I will discuss the cement/ rebar pillars in a later essay about house building.]
Two personal notes about roofs:
– Hurricane Mekunu (2018) and roofs: Given the infrequent, but heavy, water accumulation after rainstorms, there are often holes drilled at the bottom of the edge wall to allow the water to drain. One neighbor did not have this and after Mekunu hit, his roof looked like a swimming pool for over a week. The day after the storm, I told my landlord who called the neighbor, but he did not come and fix the problem, perhaps because he would have needed to climb up a ladder carrying a pump. Opening the roof door would have meant all that water coursing into the house. As the water very slowly evaporated, I could see the damp seeping into the cement blocks, eventually reaching halfway down the side of the house.
My roof had holes for the water escape and the roof door had a ledge in front of it but the huge amount of water from Mekunu meant that rain came into the landing at the top of the stairs. However, the stairs were slightly canted so that the rain ran down the left side of the stairs and at the first landing spilled over the edge into the stairwell instead of continuing down the stairs. For several hours there was a waterfall in the stairwell but no roof water entered my apartment or the apartment downstairs as the water seeped out in the gap under the front door.
I wonder how the neighbor’s roof door was so watertight. The water was at least two feet deep and took many days to evaporate. I don’t know that neighbor well enough to ask if I can prowl around his house but it is an interesting question.
– When I lived in my previous house, I paid a gardener to keep the roof clean and water various plants in pots. When I looked at the area where I lived on satellite maps, I realized the mine was the only house with a clean roof. (Which begs the question of the tradeoff between having a lower electricity bill because a clean, white-tiled roof reflects heat and wasting water to keep the roof clean.)
Examples of staircases: photos from social media (newly-built house for sale) and an informant
Examples of recently-built roofs: photos from social media (newly-built house for sale and rental house)
Examples of typical Dhofari-designed rooflines: photos by Onaiza Shaikh
Photos of houses in the Salalah area
Crafting a Home: Interior Home Design in Southern Oman
Here are a series of posts with photos and descriptions of iftar (the meal eaten to break one’s fast at sunset during Ramadan) in Dhofar.
Iftar in Dhofar – Typical Food Choices
Foodways: Thoughts on Iftars, Food and Cultures
Images of Food during Ramadan – Iftar Humor and Iftar in Beautiful Places
A book group I am in recently had an interesting discussion about the ethics of employing porters and Sherpas while traveling in the Himalayas. The conversation about what do you owe the people you employ made me think of this essay, originally published on Sept. 28, 2023.
Overview
By chance in the past few weeks I have read several articles about labor and migration on the Arabian Peninsula such as
There are lots of numbers, data sets, opinions and ideas in these texts – but no sense of what it’s like to interact with other expat workers. There is ethnographic work with and about them, but nothing about the writer’s personal economic exchanges: how to hire, discuss and pay wages, decide work load, etc. This isn’t a fault of the articles which have different objectives, but reading these texts made me reflect on my connections to other expat workers, how I manage them and how they manage me.
This essay will talk about my decision to hire help, later essays will talk in detail about some of the people who have worked for me and the types of adjustments that we both make. [The information about wages and dates are from monthly lists of expenses that I have kept since I moved to Dhofar. 1 Omani Riyal is about $2.40; there are 1000 baisa in one Riyal so the 500 baisa bill is worth about $1.20.]
***********
(photo by S. B.)
It is difficult to write about hiring people without sounding complacent, a point that was brought home when I read an ethnographic text about Western expats on the Arabian Peninsula who hired nannies and housekeepers. The author vilified the employers as spoiled, lazy, racist and delusional. The author had obviously never hired anyone to do work for them and had a healthy dislike of those who did.
Writing back against that attitude is not easy. I know I could do all the housework myself but I choose to hire someone to clean my house. This can be seen as indolent but I think it’s more helpful to situate one’s positionality when being critical. “I would never…” is very different than “I have never been in the position to…”.
My decision to hire help is predicated on several lifestyle differences such as how housing designs here allow bugs and sand to enter, the monsoon season and the size of houses.
When I visit my mom in the summer it always takes me a few days to tone down my bug vigilance. “MOM, CRUMBS!!!” I yell on the first morning when I walk into the kitchen and see evidence of sliced bread on the countertop. I quickly rinse the bread board, wipe down the bread knife and inspect the countertops for any speck of bread. Luckily, she has great tolerance for this and within a day or two I mellow out as I remember that a few crumbs on the counter sink will not induce hordes of critters to invade her kitchen.
When I get back to my own kitchen in Dhofar, I return to my watchful ways because I live in a cement block house where ants and cockroaches come out from cracks in the tiling and up from the sink and floor drains. They even crawl out though the electric outlet openings. Twice I have had mice scurry up to my first-floor apartment through the washing machine outtake pipe. There are lizards on the walls, bees flying in through the AC vents and spiders galore.
When I talk about the people I have hired to help me by cleaning my house, I know it can seem like I am lazy. I moved to the Middle East with bona fides of self-sufficiency. When I was a child, I had daily chores and once I lived on my own, I have doing all the cleaning myself. But life is different herein Oman.
For example, I have done my own laundry since I was in 6th grade and it’s simple: put everything in washing machine, then the dryer, fold and put away. But there are no dryers here and my top-loading washer has two bins. You put the clothes in the left-hand side bin, add soap, let it fill with water and turn the knob to agitate the water. Then you let the water drain and lift the sopping wet fabric up and place it in the right-hand bin which spins the water out. Then you hang everything on drying racks, wait for it all to dry, fold and put away. Going to a friend’s house and using her washer/dryer combo in the States makes me ask, “What do you do with all your spare time? Put your clothes in the machine, come back an hour later to find everything clean and dry? It’s a dream!”
Also, my friends’ houses are not in close proximity to deserts. “Sweeping the floor” means one thing in my mom’s house and something very different after a 3-day, 40 kph sandstorm in my Dhofari house where you can see daylight between the window frames and house walls. It’s a joy to sweep in my mom’s house; it takes about 5 minutes and you end up with a tiny pile to discard. After a sandstorm here I need to sweep the entire house and dust everything which takes hours. And there are usually more than 5 sandstorms every winter.
In addition, from June until the end of August, Dhofar has a monsoon season with drizzle and fog on most days. As this is also the time of annual vacation, if there is no one to clean the floors, turn fans on and off and keep watch, mold can grow. I brought a friend home from the airport when she returned to start the school year and when we walked into her living room, her sofas were coated with black mold. When I came back from vacation this summer and opened my car door, the front seats and dashboard cover were green with mold, there were even threads of mold hanging down from steering wheel.
When I lived in Madison, Boston, Minneapolis, and Grand Forks, I had a studio or one-bedroom apartment which was easy to take care of. In Salalah, apartment buildings are usually exclusively expat and I want to live in Omani neighborhoods, which means renting a small house or a floor of a house which are built for extended families. My “small” apartment has a salle, majlis, kitchen, 3 small bedrooms and 3 bathrooms. Friends who have rented houses with 4 or 5 bedrooms just shut the doors of the rooms they don’t use but I would rather hire someone to clean all the spaces.
A related point is that it’s better for me to have a slightly larger place to live as there are fewer “third spaces” here. In the month of Ramadan, for example, cafes are closed until after sunset. In the monsoon season, roads can be so crowded, it’s better to stay home. During Covid lockdowns and curfews I was really grateful I could turn the 3rd bedroom into a work space for on-line teaching. I also like that the woman who cleans my house has a key and can feed the cats if I am away for the weekend camping.
In addition to the calculations of spending time (washing clothes, sweeping, getting rid of mold) vs. spending money (paying someone to clean my house), there is the aspect of how easy it is to get help from someone who wants to work.
When I owned a car in the States, I would wash it now and then but here it is a government regulation that cars must be clean. So I could either spend ten minutes every morning wiping the sand off my truck or I hire someone to do it for me. In most parking lots of large stores, there are expat men who do this work for a small fee. Where I work, there are two men who come every morning to the covered parking area. You can pay them 500 baisa for each cleaning if you want it now and then or 10 Riyal for the month.
There are many such opportunities and I usually much hire and/ or tip everyone both because it makes my life easier and because I have been in need in my own life. I spent years without health insurance because I couldn’t afford it. I have always worked since I was in high school but I had to take out student loans for college. If my older brother had not kindly settled my student loans, it would have taken me at least a decade to pay them off. After the 1997 Red River flood, I ate Red Cross meals for weeks. Having received so much help in my life, I feel I need to be generous.
Every week, I give a money to the people who clean the building where I work and I tip the men who bag groceries. Although it’s not habitually done here, I always tip wait-staff and delivery men. When expat government employees are cutting weeds near my house, I hand out cash and bottles of water. If it’s safe to pull to the side of the road and I have cash in dashboard cubby hole, I give cash to the men who sweep streets. If I have time when there is a team of expat men gardening along the roadside near my house, I will buy cookies, as well as liters of water and soda, and hand them over.
Before I became an Associate Professor, I worked in sandwich shops, restaurants, libraries, a bookstore and an antique store and I can push my own grocery cart. But if I am walking in the parking lot of a grocery store and a man in the jumpsuit uniform of a cleaner walks towards me with his hands extended, I know he is asking to bring my cart to my car for a 1 Riyal tip. So I step away from my cart and let him push – a move that can be seen as being lazy/ exploitative or giving someone a chance to earn extra money.
Reflections on Ethnographic Research: Situating Expat Workers (part 2 of 4)
Reflections on Ethnographic Research: Expat Workers and Reciprocity (part 3 of 4)
Reflections on Ethnographic Research: Expat Workers and Issues of Payment (part 4 of 4)
I love the Dhfoari tradition of “killing the snake” (hunger) by inviting close friends to a pre-Ramadan gathering with a beautiful and delicious array of food.
Common Food Terms in Dhofar, Oman (updated)
Food Essays – Grocery Stores, Recipes, Expat Food and Littering
Practicalities of Moving to the Arabian Peninsula: Cultural Understandings of Water and Food
Ethnographic Reflections on Marriage in Dhofar, Oman
(book cover photo and post photo by Onazia Shaikh)
https://anthempress.com/books/ethnographic-reflections-on-marriage-in-dhofar-oman-hb
Examines how middle-class Muslim men and women in Dhofar, Oman, make and negotiate marital choices, tracing every stage of marriage through their own personal accounts.
Studying Marriage in Dhofar, Oman explains the choices middle-class, Muslim, tribal Dhofari men and women make when creating a life together. Based on 19 years observations of and discussions about Omani marriages, the book shows all the steps of marriage, including how people decide to get married, the wedding invitations and parties are arranged, the newlyweds’ home is organised, the work within a marriage is delineated, and a marriage succeeds or falls apart. Unlike many texts about family life on the Arabian Peninsula, the author spoke extensively to both men and women, so that the book is rich with examples of Omanis explaining their personal decisions.
There are no comparable texts which look at the complete scope of a marriage from deciding to marry, to asking to marry, arranging the wedding parties, creating a successful marriage, and coping with stresses such as children, divorce, polygamy and widowhood.
The book starts with a discussion of how a man might find a bride and how a young woman might create or avoid situations in which she would be asked to marry. There is a discussion of how people might fight to (or not to) marry and all the steps taken after the engagement, including sending out announcements and preparing where the new couple will live. All types of marriage parties are described, including taking photos and displaying the gifts. Next, there is an overview of how the couple can create a marital relationship, followed by an examination of what might go wrong in a marriage, which looks at topics such as incompatibility, gross misconduct and divorce. There is a chapter on pregnancy, which includes a discussion on how children are named. The books ends with a short overview of specific aspects of marriage such as who has free time and what ‘family time’ means.
Recreating Culture – Lessons from Bakeries and Cafeterias
Reflections – Dhofari Conversations
Photographs of Dhofar by Onazia Shaikh
Onaiza Shaikh, whose photographs I have used for several projects, sent me several gorgeous photos so I thought I would do a short post on frankincense in Dhofar.
two reputable stores which sell Dhofari frankincense:
We Remember What Frankincense Was Meant to Be. For thousands of years, frankincense was an offering. Carried by hand. Burned with intention. Passed down through memory. Sacrasoul exists to remember. To keep ancient materials whole. The resins. The oils. The traditions. And the people who have guarded them, quietly, for generations. We are not here to improve what already knows how to endure. We are here to pass it on — unchanged.
Pure Aromatics Since 1997 – Established in 1997, stands as New York’s quintessential shop for natural aromatics, including essential oils, absolutes, and enfleurages. Our steadfast commitment to natural essence means we strictly avoid synthetics in all our offerings. Alongside aromatic oils, we’re proud to present an exquisite selection of hydrosols, bespoke botanical perfumes, skincare, haircare, and specialty items like roll-ons, raw incense, and handcrafted frankincense candles.
essay about the use of frankincense in Dhfoari homes
Crafting a Home: Interior Home Design in Southern Oman
a few texts about frankincense/ the ecology of Dhofar
Al-Hikmani, Hadi and Andrew Spalton. 2021. Dhofar: Monsoon Mountains to Sand Seas – Sultanate of Oman. Chicago: Gilgamesh Publishing.
Ball, Lawrence, Douglas MacMillan, Joseph Tzanopoulos, Andrew Spalton, Hadi Al Hikmani and Mark Moritz. 2020. “Contemporary Pastoralism in the Dhofar Mountains of Oman.” Human Ecology. https://doi.org/10.1007/s10745-020-00153-5
Boom, Andrea. 2024. “Small, Green, and Prickly: Local Botanical Knowledge in Modern South Arabian Languages.” Proceedings of the Semitic Studies Section at the 34th DOT at Freie Universität Berlin. Simona Olivieri and Shabo Talay, eds. 85-99.
Janzen, Jorg. 2000. “The Destruction of Resources among the Mountain Nomads of Dhofar,” in The Transformation of Nomadic Society in the Arab East, University of Cambridge Oriental Publications 58. Martha Mundy and Basim Musallam, eds. Cambridge: Cambridge University Press. 160-75.
—. 1986. Nomads in the Sultanate of Oman: Tradition and Development in Dhofar. London: Westview Press.
“Frankincense Research and Conservation.” n.d. Environmental Society of Oman. https://eso.org.om/frankincense/
Johnson, Stephen, Ali Bait Said, Petr Vahalík, Lukáš Karas, Maïa Sarrouf Willson, Frans Bongers. 2025. Rapid Conservation Assessment of Boswellia Sacra in Oman Reveals Complex Threat and Population Patterns.” Journal of Arid Environments 229.
Lewis, Krista. 2022. “The Land of Frankincense: Dhofari Sites as National and World Heritage,” in Sultan Qaboos and Modern Oman, 1970–2020. Allen James Fromherz and Abdulrahman al-Salimi, eds. Edinburgh: Edinburgh University Press.67-88.
Miller, Anthony, Miranda Morris, and Susanna Stuart-Smith, Plants of Dhofar, the Southern Region of Oman: Traditional, Economic, and Medicinal Uses, (Muscat: Office of the Adviser for Conservation of the Environment, Diwan of Royal Court, 1988).
Morris, Miranda. “The Aloe and the Frankincense Tree in Southern Arabia: Different Approaches to Their Use.” Herbal Medicines in Yemen: Traditional Knowledge and Practice, and Their Value for Today’s World. Ingrid Hehmeyer and Hanne Schönig, eds. Brill: Boston, 2012. 103-126.
—. “The Harvesting of Frankincense in Dhofar.” In Alessandra Avanzini, ed. Profumi d’Arabia. Rome: L’Erma Bretschneider, 1997. 231-250.
Sale, J. 1980. “The Ecology of the Mountain Region of Dhofar.” The Journal of Oman Studies: Special Report 2: The Oman Flora and Fauna Survey 1975. Muscat: Diwan of H. M. for Protocol. 25-54.
Tabook, Salim Bakhit. 1997. Tribal Practices and Folklore of Dhofar, Sultanate of Oman. Unpublished PhD thesis, Faculty of Arts, Exeter University.
Watson, Janet, Jon Lovett and Roberta Morano, eds. 2023. Language and Ecology in Southern and Eastern Arabia. London: Bloomsbury.
Wilson, Jack, Janet C.E. Watson, Andrea Boom and Saeed al-Qumairi. 2022. “Language, Gesture and Ecology in Modern South Arabian Languages,” in Language and Ecology in Southern and Eastern Arabia. Janet Watson, Jon Lovett and Roberta Morano, eds. 15-44.
Zimmerle, William. 2017. Crafting Cuboid Incense Burners in the Land of Frankincense: The Dhofar Ethnoarchaeology Preservation Project. Washington: Sultan Qaboos Cultural Center/Liberty House Press.
‘Reflections on Marriage in Dhofar, Oman’ is accepted for publication
Photographs of Dhofar by Onazia Shaikh
Come From Away 
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