Tag: Women

I am happy to announce that my new book is now available for pre-order: Ethnographic Reflections on Marriage in Dhofar, Oman

Ethnographic Reflections on Marriage in Dhofar, Oman

(book cover photo and post photo by Onazia Shaikh)

https://anthempress.com/books/ethnographic-reflections-on-marriage-in-dhofar-oman-hb

Examines how middle-class Muslim men and women in Dhofar, Oman, make and negotiate marital choices, tracing every stage of marriage through their own personal accounts.

Studying Marriage in Dhofar, Oman explains the choices middle-class, Muslim, tribal Dhofari men and women make when creating a life together. Based on 19 years observations of and discussions about Omani marriages, the book shows all the steps of marriage, including how people decide to get married, the wedding invitations and parties are arranged, the newlyweds’ home is organised, the work within a marriage is delineated, and a marriage succeeds or falls apart. Unlike many texts about family life on the Arabian Peninsula, the author spoke extensively to both men and women, so that the book is rich with examples of Omanis explaining their personal decisions.

There are no comparable texts which look at the complete scope of a marriage from deciding to marry, to asking to marry, arranging the wedding parties, creating a successful marriage, and coping with stresses such as children, divorce, polygamy and widowhood.

The book starts with a discussion of how a man might find a bride and how a young woman might create or avoid situations in which she would be asked to marry. There is a discussion of how people might fight to (or not to) marry and all the steps taken after the engagement, including sending out announcements and preparing where the new couple will live. All types of marriage parties are described, including taking photos and displaying the gifts. Next, there is an overview of how the couple can create a marital relationship, followed by an examination of what might go wrong in a marriage, which looks at topics such as incompatibility, gross misconduct and divorce. There is a chapter on pregnancy, which includes a discussion on how children are named. The books ends with a short overview of specific aspects of marriage such as who has free time and what ‘family time’ means.

Recreating Culture – Lessons from Bakeries and Cafeterias

Reflections – Dhofari Conversations

Photographs of Dhofar by Onazia Shaikh 

Frankincense in Dhofar, Oman

Frankincense in Dhofar, Oman

Frankincense is the most important product grown in Dhofar and I would like to highlight two wonderful women who are running their own companies which sell products made from Frankincense resin: Trygve Harris (a dear friend and founder of Enfleurage) and Atheer Tabook (founder of Lubaniah).

The Enfleurage website [https://enfleurage.me/] has beautiful photos of the trees and resin, along with a lot of information about the beauties and uses of frankincense:

“Atheer Tabook is a 25-year-old Omani girl who has founded her own home business, Lubaniah, that makes natural wellness products. She has combined traditional Dhofari frankincense with the knowledge gained through her university studies to produce soap.”    [from “Working from Home? You’re not Alone,” Times of Oman, May 12, 2018]

 

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Food Photos by Salwa Hubais

I am so pleased that Salwa Hubais has kindly agreed to let me use some of her photos to illustrate aspects of foodways in Dhofar, Oman. I love her style because she portrays everyday drinks, snacks, and meals in an innovative and stylish manner. When I started working on issues of food and cultures about a year and a half ago, I wanted to explore what Dhofari Omanis typically ate with family, relatives  and friends and this is what Salwa does: she finds the extraordinary beauty in ordinary objects.

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An excellent article – “Women in Omani Arts: From Traditional Folk Tales to Contemporary Art” by Nada Al-Ajmi

I recently found this excellent article, “Women in Omani Arts: From Traditional Folk Tales to Contemporary Art” by Nada Al-Ajmi from the Department of English, College of Arts and Social Sciences, Sultan Qaboos University, Muscat, Oman
Abstract
It is unusual to find a country that has been modernized in which practices encapsulated in folk tales dating back some 6,000 years are regarded as contemporaneous and intrinsic to the national identity. It is also rare for an oral tradition to be transformed into the visual arts medium and in doing so both accurately convey past narratives while translating them into expressions of present-day issues. This study specifically investigates representations of women in Omani folk tales selected from a collection in print translated into English from Arabic. Analysis of theoretical work in the field of folklore appears alongside outcomes from qualitative interviews conducted with six contemporary artists whose art work features depictions of women. These interviews canvassed the artist’s knowledge of, and influences from, folk tales in their work. It also gauged their perceptions of women’s situation of in present-day Oman, in relation to values and beliefs expressed in folk tales. Analysis of folk stories found that women’s
actions were portrayed in a positive light and that they warned against practices that
placed restrictions on women, such as, choice of husband. Artists’ viewpoints in their
work and during discussions confirmed these findings and revealed particular concern
around continuation into the present of socio-cultural practices that would limit women
and place them in difficult situations. Further research into linkages between different art modalities in relation to folk tales would be instructive.

May Bsisu’s The Arab Table – Reading Recipes for Cultural Understandings

Bsisu, May. (2005). The Arab Table: Recipes and Culinary Traditions. New York: William Morrow.

For years, I had only one cookbook, The Joy of Cooking, a present from my mother. But after I started to do research on foodways in Southern Arabia, I began to buy cookbooks to learn more about Arabic foodways in general and to compare and contrast with Dhofari foodways. My areas of interest are how “the Arab table” can have various meanings in various locations and what those meanings might be in Dhofar.

My favorite cookbook so far is May Bsisu’s The Arab Table (2005). She is so generous and comprehensive; she lived in several countries including Jordan, Kuwait, Lebanon, England and the United States so she knows several food traditions and the difficulties of cooking “home” food in a new land. She includes data about which plants grow where (e.g. 252) and recipes for non-Muslim celebrations (299, 303, 345). The photos are gorgeous, the recipes are clearly written and she always gives hints, substitutions and information about where to get ingredients. I wish I had someone who would cook the delicious dishes for me!

I am reading it for cultural data, trying to catch the moments of surprise then exploring and articulating the variances, such as the difference between Bsisu’s threed/ thareed recipe (188, a platter layered with bread covered with sauce, then rice, then chicken and finished with a garnish) and how it is made in Salalah (a soup to which pieces of dried bread is added). Her chicken schwarma recipe (190) calls for pieces, not slices, of chicken. She has Um Khalid (331); in Dhofar the bread-pudding dessert is called Um Ali.

She describes specific foods for New Year’s which indicate happiness (322), something I have not found here. In asking about ‘performative’ food, i.e. food that brings about a change such as good luck, my informants say that is not part of Dhofari cultures, although there are foods for physical changes such as to lose or gain weight. She also discusses foods, such as raw meat (225) and certain cheeses (16), which are not eaten here.

Other difference are that many recipes require a specific cooking environment such as accessories not easily found in Dhofar (especially in 2005 when the book was published, for example fleece blankets 220), the implication that meat is bought from butchers who will prepare meat as requested (207), and the implied need for a fully out-fitted kitchen with spice-grinder, food processor, sauce-boats, plates to invert dishes on, etc.

Thus reading The Arab Table is fun on several levels. First there are great recipes and also I can see how not just the food choices, but the expectations of serving food, vary greatly between cultures.  For example, Bsisu discusses putting things of “each guest’s plate” (188) and setting up various “table” or “stations” for dinners (264-6) whereas in Dhofar, almost every main dish is eaten communally and guests sit in one location unless it is a large wedding party with a buffet.

At a party in a private home, there might be a table with desserts, but guests do not choose for themselves. A plate is made up and brought to them. At an Omani wedding party once, the hostess told me that she would bring a plate for me. I told her not to bother and got up and took sweets for myself. Later I realized how rude I had been, to deny her the chance to take care of a guest and to possibly allow others to judge her as not being an attentive hostess, to let a clearly foreign woman fend for herself.

The Arab Table is an excellent, thorough, big-hearted overview of Arab cooking.

https://video.nationalgeographic.com/video/00000144-0a39-d3cb-a96c-7b3d746a0000

(photo above is from social media, I didn’t want to take images from her book without permission)

 

“Arabic Coffee,” a poem by Naomi Shihab Nye

A lovely poem by a wonderful poet.   (complete image is below)

It was never too strong for us:

make it blacker, Papa,

thick in the bottom,

tell again how the years will gather

in small white cups,

how luck lives in a spot of grounds.

Leaning over the stove, he let it

boil to the top, and down again.

Two times. No sugar in his pot.

And the place where men and women

break off from one another

was not present in that room.

The hundred disappointments,

fire swallowing olive-wood beads

at the warehouse, and the dreams

tucked like pocket handkerchiefs

into each day, took their places

on the table, near the half-empty

dish of corn. And none was

more important than the others,

and all were guests. When

he carried the tray into the room,

high and balanced in his hands,

it was an offering to all of them,

stay, be seated, follow the talk

wherever it goes. The coffee was

the center of the flower.

Like clothes on a line saying

You will live long enough to wear me,

a motion of faith. There is this,

and there is more.

Nye, Naomi Shihab. (2002). Arabic Coffee. Poems by Naomi Shihab Nye. Now Classroom. http://www.pbs.org/now/arts/nyepoems2.html

Essays about Teaching Poems

John Clare Looks Good in a Dishdash: Linking John Clare to Middle Eastern Poetry

Marlowe in Salalah: Making English Poetry Relevant – 2008

Teaching Literature and Staying au courant – The Man from Nowhere and the Ancient Greeks

Foodways and Literature – Food Stories and Poems

Foodways and Literature – Animal Poems

Teaching Paired Literary Texts

Translating Western Conceptions of “Nature” to the Middle East – 2009

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Food Often Served at Weddings in Dhofar

Most writing and visuals about food in the Middle East concentrate on one of four topics: food memories connected to loss (e.g. cookbook memoir of displaced people), food scarcity (areas of war/ poverty), elite food (extravagant meals, gourmet cuisine, social media photos) and sharing food at Ramadan (photos of giving away food and communal Iftar at mosques). I am interested in the often not-seen, not-discussed topic of everyday food: what is procured, produced, cooked, eaten, shared and disposed of by Omanis who have neither an insufficiency nor a super-abundance of food. These short essays on cooking/ food in Dhofar are not meant to be exhaustive or prescriptive. From purchasing food, cooking, eating and doing formal interviews with Dhofari informants for over ten years, as well as academic inquiries, I am attempting to build up a general picture of Dhofari foodways, with the understanding that there are elements I am missing and there is a wide variety of practices between house-holds (n.b., when I write “Dhofari” I am referring to Omanis who live in Dhofar, although there are people from different countries who live in Dhofar with their own food traditions). For more details, see: Foodways and Society in Dhofar, Oman

 

Drinks – offered by waitresses/ groom’s relatives

  • Coffee (qahwa/ Arabic or Nescafe/ instant)
  • Juice, fresh or bottled
  • Laban (also spelled Leben; in English, buttermilk)
  • Soda
  • Tea (“red” [chai ahmar] black tea with only sugar added, “milk” [chai haleeb] black tea with canned milk and sugar, or karak is loose tea with spices and canned milk)
  • Water

Snacks offered before dinner

  • Finger food such as mini-pizzas, spring rolls (filled with vegetables or cheese)
  • Fruit – Bananas, Grapes, Oranges, Watermelon or chopped as a salad
  • “Sweets” – see below

Meals – at a rented house or hall, usually served 8pm – 2am, after the bride has arrived

  • appetizer selections: hummus, fattoush, baba ghanoush, etc., with pita bread
  • rice and meat – usually qabooli, rarely/ never chicken or fish

Meal – at the bride’s house if she will be taken directly to the groom’s house or a hotel, usually served anytime from 5pm – 11pm

  • rice and meat – usually qabooli, rarely/ never chicken or fish – served with side salad and sauce, extra rice and meta is distributed to neighbors and relatives

Sweets

  • Baklava
  • Basbousa (usually flavored with coconut)
  • Cake
  • Cheesecake (either slices or mini individual ones)
  • Creme Caramel
  • Custard مهلبية
  • Dumplings (stuffed with cheese, soaked in lemon and sugar syrup with cinnamon)
  • Jell-O
  • Halwa (the Arabic word for sweet), Omani specialty made with sugar, water, clarified butter, cornstarch and flavorings such as cardamom, saffron, sesame seeds, almonds and cashews. Served with a thin, plain cracker-like bread (khoubz raqaq/ raqeeq or kak)
  • Kanafeh/ Kunafa
  • Luqaymat/ Loqeemat/ Loukoumades لقيمات/ لقمة القاضي (sweet dumplings dipped in sugar syrup)
  • Pancakeخبز حوح
  • Swiss Roll
  • “Traditional Sweet” (pita bread soaked in milk and sugar and cardamom).
  • Dream Whip

 

Typical Foodways at Wedding Celebrations

Groom’s Side

The party for men is usually held on a Saturday (second day of the weekend) morning; it is best if the date is close to the end of the month, after the salary has arrived. The groom’s family will usually arrange a marquee near their house, near a mosque or at a space outside of town. The marquee will be rented for the day and be furnished with rugs and chairs, arranged  in a circle. Sometimes there is a secondary tent to the side where the food is prepared. In many Dhofari tribes, the brothers, close friends and cousins of the groom will usually butcher the camels/ cows the night before, or very early in the morning; some meat is then distributed to close relatives and the rest given to restaurant workers to cook. The quantity of food shows the respect for the guests. No one is expecting (or would like) a new recipe or dishes. The two most important components are tea and meat with rice; Omani coffee, Omani sweet (halwa), fruit, soft drinks, water, salad are also served. Brothers and close friends come and go but there is always a core group next to the groom, i.e. he is never without a good friend and a brother or cousin to keep him company and help with the guests. The event ends at the ‘asr (mid afternoon) prayer when all the guests and the groom leave.

Bride’s Side

Sometimes the bride’s party will be quite simple. The bride’s friends and sisters help her get ready at home and serve dinner to female relatives and friends, while male relatives sit with her brothers and father outside the house or in a nearby relative’s house.

Then the bride is brought to the groom’s house by her relatives in a procession of cars. The groom’s sisters and her sisters take her to her new room. Her sisters help arrange her; then the bride’s female relatives come in to see the room and the groom’s female relatives come in to see the bride. She usually does not speak, and never smiles in keeping with the expected cultural ideal that she is “shy,” sad to leave her parents. Sometimes items bought with the mahar and gifts, especially of gold and perfume from friends and relatives, are put on display in the room.

The groom’s family gives the bride’s relatives dinner in the salle and majlis or in an open space near the house, then the bride’s family leaves except for the bride’s mother and/ or a close (older/ already married) sister or aunt. Then the groom, usually carrying a gun as a symbol of his ability to protect her, and his father will come into the room where her mom and (perhaps) sisters are sitting with her. After a short ice-breaker sort of conversation (the bride does not speak), everyone leaves the bride and groom alone.

A more elaborate wedding will be celebrated at a hotel or “hall,” basically an big empty enclosed space. Sometimes this is an issue of wealth but it also happens when there is more than one wedding (e.g. two brothers marrying), or if the bride and groom are from different tribes. In this kind of wedding, the women are invited by phone and sometimes given a ‘card’ for entrance by the groom’s family (who are paying for the event).

Close female relatives of the bride and of the groom show up in finery – often shimmering dresses they have designed themselves. They start to gather about 7 or 8pm; finger-food, sweets and drinks are passed around by waitresses. There is usually water, fruit and maybe snacks laid out on the tables, but no name cards – people sit where they like. The bride makes a triumphal entrance (think the fan fare from 2001: A Space Odyssey) late in the evening, perhaps 12 or even 1am. The main meal is usually served after the bride arrives. Then, with the bride seated on a sofa on the elevated stage,  various women dance for her in an open space in front of her or on the elevated stage. At the end of the event, the bride will be brought in a procession of cars to the groom’s house, or the groom might actually come into the room (a very new innovation) and escort her out.