Practicalities of Moving to the Arabian Peninsula: Dealing with Loss

I have a section on “attending funerals of co-workers” in Research and Working on the Arabian Peninsula (publication date: June 18, 2025). That is not a topic that shows up in a lot of “how to fit in at work in a new country” books, but it is necessary to know on the Arabian Peninsula as colleagues and neighbors are expected to visit a bereaved family.

To help people struggling with how to behave in such circumstances, AP cultures have solved the “what should I do or say when someone is in grief?” dilemma. There are clear religious and culture guidelines which are easy to know and easy to follow: show up, say good words, drink tea and leave. And it’s easy to know who you should do this for: any co-worker, friend or neighbor.

Your work place will send out condolence notices and if it is expected that co-workers pay condolence visits, all the details will be given to you. You will know when your neighbors are receiving visitors by the number of cars outside the house.

It does not matter what religion you are or how well you knew the person who died. Show up. Put on neutral/ dark clothes, walk into the house, say words of condolences, keep a calm demeanor, accept the cup of tea, take a sip, sit quietly and leave after 10-20 minutes.

The calm demeanor is key. One of the basic cultural understandings on the Arabian Peninsula is “don’t make emotional difficulties for anyone you are related to or are friend with.”  You want to keep a calm exterior and help people who you are aligned with keep their calm exterior. In times of grief, this means be stoic to make it easier for the people around you.

When you see a friend/ co-worker/ neighbor who has been hit by a tragedy, don’t bring yourself into the sadness by crying and/or talking about something negative that happened to you – don’t make a person who is grieving comfort you.

Don’t try to memorize the correct Arabic/ Islamic saying, get it wrong, apologize for your mistake, say it again wrong and generally cause a spectacle as everyone jumps in to discuss your language usage. If you aren’t fluent in Arabic, say condolences in your language. It’s fine if use Latin or Klingon. The point is to stand in front of the chief mourner with an attitude of humble respect and quietly say something that sounds reverential, then go drink tea.

There is no perfect thing to say – there is no sentence in any language that can make the death of a beloved person easier to bear. So concentrate on not bothering the living. Don’t ask for anything particular to eat or drink; don’t comment on the food. If you are diabetic, be aware there will probably be a lot of sugar in the tea: raise the cup to your mouth, tilt it slightly without tasting anything and set it back down. Sitting in a respectful stillness for the next few minutes is all that is required of you.

In Islam, the mourning period is 3 days (see below) so if you see a co-worker back at work 4 days after a loss, give condolences if you didn’t go to their house and, even with the kindest intentions, do not suggest that they leave work or ask “it’s only been 4 days, why are you back ?”

A story – I went to give my condolences thinking that the right thing to wear was an abayah (long, black, shapeless cloak) and a sheila (black headscarf). I was the only woman in the room wearing black; everyone else was in dark/ muted thobes (housedresses) with lossis (cotton headscarves). I felt silly, but I did not say a word. If I apologized, then one of the people in mourning would have to try to make me feel better and my mistake was easily understood by anyone who saw me: the foreigner didn’t know what to wear.

As a hypothetical, if for some reason, I went to give condolences in a bright red dress, I would not speak about it to any of the family members, but I would explain myself to someone who was not directly affected, for example a neighbor. As many people come to give condolences (to make sure the immediate family is never alone and no bereaved person has to do basic things like grocery shopping), there are always extra people in the room. Explain to them, not the mourners.

The reasoning is: if you force mourners to forgive you for your mistake, you are forcing them to act as if they noticed your mistake. In a way, you are accusing them of paying attention to insignificant issues.

* In Islam, the mourning period is 3 days. For rulers, the period might be extended with various levels, for example for X days the government office and schools are closed; for Y days there will be only national music on radio stations; for Z days the flags will be at half-mast. Festivals and non-serious events (such as plays) might be canceled. On the Arabian Peninsula, a country’s ruler might declare 1, 2 or 3 days of mourning when another country’s ruler has died; this happened, for example, when Sheikh Zayed passed away. For a widow, the mourning period is four months and ten days during which time she should stay in her house and refrain from wearing bright colors, jewelry, perfume and make-up.

Practicalities of Moving to the Arabian Peninsula: Getting and Sending Mail/ Packages

Ethnography – Staying Calm

Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions

Leaving Oman: Grief, Grandeur, Museums and Bringley’s ‘All the Beauty in The World’

Practicalities of Moving to the Arabian Peninsula: Getting and Sending Mail/ Packages

I recently realized that I did not write about mailing issues in Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions [ https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-981-96-5326-3 ]. This topic came up because the book’s publisher asked me where I wanted my complimentary copies sent. I gave the PO Box of my former university in Oman so that a friend who still works there could give out the books to the Omani people who helped me do research. But the publisher does not ship books to PO Boxes and Oman does not deliver mail to street addresses, all mail goes to PO Boxes.

Welcome to the world of trying to get what you want where you want it!

For some people who move to the Arabian Peninsula, mail is never an issue. But if you will need to send/ receive papers or objects, it is worth thinking through what is the best way to manage that. Because, like everything else when you are in a new country, a simple act like mailing a letter can go sideways.

Three overarching issues:

1) Mail is not used for communication very often, to the point where some people do not have or need a mailing address.

2) The kind of mail delivery depends on the country. There is no home mail delivery in Oman; in Saudi Arabia there is home delivery; in the Emirates and Qatar, mail is delivered to a PO Box, usually at work, and you can pay for home delivery if you want to.

3) Some countries have post office clerks who do all tasks; you stand in line and whoever is there can help you. Arabian Peninsula post offices are set up with clerks who do specific functions, so you need to look/ ask to make sure you are in the right line; for example, there might be one counter for domestic stamps/ letters, one for domestic parcels, one for international parcels, one to pick up a parcel etc.

The first concern is when you are sending boxes to yourself so that they are there when you arrive. If you are moving for work, get specific instructions from someone on your team. It is probably better if you address the boxes to someone who is already working there, not to yourself. If you use your name, someone at the post office or your company might not recognize it and return your box.

Also, talk to someone if you are sending something that is not standard household goods. This is the sort of detail that you will want to check and double-check as you do not want your boxes to sit in limbo at customs or in the depths of the package room at the main post office.

If you are going for research, you might be able to send a box to your hotel (but check with them first) and/ or the archive you will be using.

Once you are in-country, you have a couple of choices:

1) use your work address to receive mail, which is what most people do – the drawback is you are dependent on someone else (the people who go to post office, sort the mail and deliver to your office) but most companies have employees who pick up the post every day or every-other day and get your letters to your desk within a few hours

2) get a PO Box for yourself, which means greater control of when you get your mail but also that you have to drive to pick it up

3) use a transshipping company, which means everyone you know/ every store you buy from sends letters and goods to a street address in your home country, then the transshipping company opens the boxes, combines all your mail into one box which is sent with FedEx/ DHL/ Aramex etc. I used Stackry and never had a problem but there are many companies to choose from – this is most expensive but also fastest, most reliable and your boxes are delivered where you want, either home or office.

Remember that moving items within the country or within the Arabian Peninsula can sometimes be done more easily by bus. There are a lot of bus companies which will take even the most haphazardly wrapped items as cargo. I used to buy rugs, pillows, tablecloths, etc. in Muscat and put them on the bus to Salalah; they arrived overnight and it cost a few dollars. A friend once sent me a paper shopping bag, stapled shut, full of lotion and perfume in glass bottles and everything arrived in good shape. This also works between countries!

Also remember to ask people who are in-country what the delivery times are. Shipping companies and national postal organizations can chirp about “3-day delivery” but the people on the receiving end will know the actual transit time.  

As with many other errands, you can decide if you want to pay for help. In the States, I would never think of paying someone to mail my letters. In Oman, I would sometimes drive across town only to find that they were out of stamps or the stamp-clerk was on break, so it was worth it to me to out-source some post office visits.* There are often people at work who can help you pick up and/ or drop off packages (sometimes called “runners”) but it is only fair to use them if you pay them well. Ask the going rate, then add a generous tip.

Lastly, the chances are good that you will end up with a horror story about shipping. When the mail goes wrong, it goes terribly wrong. There is no perfect company and no way to know when it will fall apart. One package from DHL took 21 days to arrive and I got into an epic 3 week fight with FedEx to get a box out of customs purgatory. There is so much written about “global village” and “instant access” that it can come as a surprise when you can’t get some little thingie from here to there: it’s a postal strike or a federal holiday or bad weather or the mailing label got torn.

If it is something important/ irreplaceable – carry it with you or pay extra for special services.

* Unless you have hired a butler, it is in no one’s job description to run your personal errands. I don’t think there is anything wrong in hiring people to make your life easier if you treat them with respect and give them honest wages. It is unconscionable to be rude or underpay.

Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions

Reflections on Ethnographic Research: Deciding to Hire Expat Workers (part 1 of 4)

How NOT to Describe People Who Are Foreign to You: Exoticizing Omanis

Leaving Oman: Grief, Grandeur, Museums and Bringley’s ‘All the Beauty in The World’

Ethnography – Staying Calm

I often talk about how it is important in Dhofar to project calm at all times.* The need to always be peaceful can create puzzling situations. Recently an Omani friend asked me to provide some specific information that I don’t have access to. When I told the person that, they responded by telling me that they already had the information.

To an outsider, that might seem like a confusing statement, why did the Omani ask me for information they already had? From a Dhofari perspective, the person wanted my input, but when I said I could not help, they needed to reassert their autonomy and to make the “weather calm” between us. They did not want to appear to be in need to help, nor did they want me to be worried. Whether they have the information or not (and when they received it), is not the point. Keeping our friendship on an even keel is the point.

I try to go along with this POV as much as I could but it is often difficult. An Omani who did what they could to destroy my career, insisted on coming up to me to say “hello” and ask how I was whenever they saw me. The juxtaposition between their private cruelty and public smiles was so odd, I often just stared at them instead of replying. Other Omanis told me that I needed to “hold myself” and answer pleasantly. My pleas of “they are making my life miserable” were ignored. I was told if someone is actively attempting to hurt me, the only acceptable response is politeness.

Another example is when an Omani man insulted an Omani woman in front of over 20 people. I called him on it, he brushed it off and she insisted that she wasn’t bothered at all (as a way to assert her self-control).

A few days later he asked me if I had forgiven him; since he had shown no contrition I said, “No,” and he got mad at me. From his point of view, he had done a pro forma apology, therefore I needed to forgive him. I thought his action was deliberately malicious and felt no compunction to make peace.

My funniest example is once when I failed to stay calm, an Omani man who I did not know decided to teach me patience.

The Omani man was in an academic office, looking at a form he had filled out. I came in and sat down, waiting to talk to the clerk. The man asked the clerk some questions, then reread the form. He smiled at me and, when I did not smile back (as I was annoyed that he was fussing over an unimportant form), he reread the form again. Then he asked the clerk the same questions.

When he smiled at me a second time as I sat stony-faced, he got agitated and repeated the questions for a third time and reread the form yet again. The interaction was not going the way he wanted it to as I was not behaving properly (i.e. looking unbothered) and he could not end it comfortably until I smiled, expressing that I was at peace with his behavior. He had the right to pester the clerk with several iterations of the same questions and I should accept this right.

Finally, he left, but I did not start talking to the clerk as I was pretty sure what was going to happen. Within a minute, as expected, the man returned.

He had decided that he need to write his phone number at the top of the form. The clerk explained that his phone number was already on the form, but the man insisted on double-checking. So, the clerk handed the form over and the man wrote his phone number at the top, then asked the same questions he had asked before.

Then he looked at me and smiled for the third time. I know I was supposed to keep my dignity by responding in a way to show that “I am not bothered” but I simply stared at him. Finally, he stood up to leave, but before he reached the door, he turned back, pointed at me and said in Arabic, “She’s “za’lana (angry)”! I replied in Arabic that I was not za’lana, but he repeated, “za’lana! za’lana!” and laughed.

He had won the interaction. Although I didn’t say anything, I showed my lack of serence self-control by not smiling and acting as if I had all the time in the world while he reread the form.

* Omanis know that always keeping calm is impossible, so there is a corollary that if you see someone not up to the task, you need to step in, help create peace and never encourage anger or violence. Thus, there is an expectation that if two people start to yell at each other, everyone in the vicinity should work to separate and quiet them (unlike the American action of on-lookers creating a circle around the two opponents and yelling “fight, fight!”).

Geography is Destiny: Growing up in Columbia, Maryland

I grew up in a model city. This does not mean I turned out as a model citizen but my city, Columbia, Maryland, did the best it could. [see also Michael Chabon’s essay on Columbia, “Maps and Legends” in his essay collection with the same title]

Columbia came from a conglomeration of pieces of land bought up by under the direction of James Rouse for the Howard Company Research and Development Corporation. The area, between Baltimore and Washington D.C, was at that time mainly farm land; Rouse planned a “new city” which was supposed to create the feel of a small town but with housing available to people with all ranges of income.

Columbia was founded in 1967 and was built to seem small and friendly. It had curving roads, sidewalks, walking paths, artificial lakes, lots of trees and a “village centers” that would be within walking distance of most of the houses. Each village center was a mixed-use area with a community space/ theater, small stores and a large grocery store as well as restaurant and other amenities such as a library. Schools were also located within walking distances of most housing. All this was gilded with a patina of poetic names. I lived on ‘Open Sky,’ next to ‘Thicket Lane,’ ‘May Wind Court,’ ‘Green Mountain Circle’ and ‘Twin Rivers.’ People from nearby towns called Columbia “Disneyland” in the beginning years.

The idea of creating a community was incorporated into even the smallest detail. Mail was not delivered to houses. To get our mail, we walked across the street to a large box which had cubbyholes for 20 houses. The idea was that you would meet and talk to your neighbors as you picked up the mail every day.

The three main differences between Columbia and most other developments were that Columbia was deliberately built to bring people from different incomes together into the same space. Every village had single-family homes, townhouses, apartments, condominiums and subsidized housing. Thus every school had students from a wide-range of financial backgrounds.

A second difference is that religious buildings were forbidden. There were “interfaith centers” in each village center; each religious groups using the space at different times, i.e. Baptists at nine, Methodists at eleven. Lastly, the Columbia Medical Plan (CMP), an early form of HMO, was set up for residents so that most residents went to the same hospital.

The motto of Columbia is “People Power” and the power came from people who wanted to live in a “willed community,” meaning the people who bought homes there wanted to have neighbors from all economic, social, religious and national backgrounds. In middle school my best friend was from Haiti; in high schools my group of friends included people who were Jewish, Catholic, Hindi, Protestant and atheist.

The crowning touch was that I went through a ‘model’ school system. My elementary, middle and high schools were built ‘open plan’ – no classroom walls. Teachers used flimsy dividers to block off their own area. Students sat in semi-circles; the teachers sat on their desk or roamed around the space. There was always noise from other nearby classes; I enjoyed the setup but it must have been hell for those with ADHD.

The teachers were encouraged to be innovative and let students learn using a variety of methods. In elementary we learned math by using counting sticks. In high school we could work our way through math books at our own pace. We didn’t have lectures in English classes. There were about 45 ‘packets’ – each with a reading assignment and questions to answer. Each student had to do 12 packets in one year. If you powered though, you could finish in one semester, or languish on for 1 ½ years.

My last year, I had a very hip teache, who decided to let me and another student watch THX1138, George Lucas’ first film, a dystopia sci-fi short movie. The teacher wrote up a series of questions and we wrote essays to answer them, a far cry from the usual high school curriculum in 1986. Another teacher was doing research on ‘learning styles.’ My two best friends and I announced that we learned better sitting comfortably, so we appropriated the sofa which had been brought into his class space. We ‘needed’ the sofa to optimize our learning capabilities.

Despite the luxuries I was enjoying, my mom suggested that I finish high school in three years. I looked into it and found I would only need to take one summer school class – English. So that summer I took a bus to another school in town, a real high school. It had hallways. It had windows and classrooms with doors. Amazingly, the chairs were in straight columns, and the teacher never moved from behind his desk. It was a classroom just like I had seen in the movies!

I sat in the last chair, the column nearest the windows, propped up my textbook, set the book I was reading inside it, and read all summer. The best of possible worlds! The teacher’s voice was a low, steady drone from the front of the class; no one was paying attention. There were no creative projects, nothing to turn my brain on for – I was envious of the students who got to “learn” like this all the time! This was what high school was supposed to be!

One result of growing up in Columbia is that as a teacher I make my students sit in a circle so we can all interact. I walk around the classroom. I try to think of creative homework assignments. The second result is that I can read anything anywhere; I can make myself concentrate on any mental task no matter what confusion reigns around me.

The last result is that I don’t really ‘get’ hating someone else because they have a different religion. In this, perhaps inadvertently, Columbia was eminently successful. When I got to college and heard a woman from my dorm disparage another woman because “she was Catholic,” I was surprised. You would dislike someone because of their religion? Really? It seemed so oddly old-fashioned, like living in a house without electricity. Not trusting someone because of their religion? Weird.

I think part of the reason I could live overseas in Germany, Cyprus, the United Arab Emirates and Oman is that I grew up with such a mix of people. Or to be more precise, people from different backgrounds who were happy to live near people from other different backgrounds. As a child, it never occurred to me that I was supposed to fear or hate someone whose appearance, religion, background, language and/or country of origin was different than mine. Not, I hope, in a holier-than-thou sort of way, but I wasn’t taught to fear or hate, so I didn’t fear or hate. People Power, plain and simple.

Navigating Working in USA without Speaking English, part 1

Returning to USA – Culture Shock essays

Culture Shock – Adjusting to American Hand Shakes

Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions

Culture Shock – Adjusting to American Hand Shakes

part 1 – https://mariellerisse.com/2025/03/15/ethnography-navigating-shaking-hands-on-the-arabian-peninsula/

When I lived in Oman and came to the States in the summer, I always used Arabic expressions in every-day interactions, like saying shukran, (thank you) to grocery-store clerks. When I moved back permanently, I wondered if that would continue. I used Arabic a few times, but quickly stopped; language use was the easiest part of moving back.

I slowly got used to Americans moving around in self-contained bubbles, usually looking at the cell phone, using earbuds to have a conversation or wearing large headphones. The American dislike of interacting with anyone in public is really pronounced in the winter. Boston often has icy sidewalks with one narrow part that’s clear. It makes sense to me that someone wanting to walk by me would just say, “passing on your left.” Then I would shift/ lean to the right, so they could easily get by me. Instead, people suddenly and silently show up at my left elbow. Sometimes they do this awkward maneuver of walking with their right foot on the snow bank and left foot on the clear part of the sidewalk as they stomp by.

And I am still trying to get conversations right. When I came to USA in the summers, I spent almost all of my time talking to family and friends or I was in conversations in which I knew my part, e.g., talking to clerks, buying something, navigating an airport etc.

But now I have all sorts of short conversations with colleagues and acquaintances so things often go pear-shaped. Someone complimented me a few days ago and I still can’t tell is that was really a compliment or an insult. In Dhofar, compliments are often used to point out a fault, so I am wary of positive statements. And for this statement I can’t read the intention of the person who made the comment and I can’t figure out a way to ask, “What did you mean?” Either I would look like I was fishing for more compliments or the person would have to spell out the insult.

I sometimes revert to Omani understandings at the worst possible times and strand myself in embarrassment. A male colleague introduced me to his wife and I cheerfully said, “THE WOMAN!” We chatted for a few moments and, as I walked away, I realized that saying “THE WOMAN!” was NOT the way Americans greet each other.

I stood still and debated what to do. I could walk back to them, apologize and try to do a 5-minute cultural lecture, or keep walking and hope they didn’t notice or would forget and forgive. I kept walking. Sometimes I try to explain but this seemed like one of those times in which the explanation would just make the situation worse.

In Dhofar it’s rude to put someone’s name in public, especially if it is a female family member so all the research guys referred to their wife as “the woman” or “my family.” For example, if a man said, “I will take my family to Muscat,” he meant “my wife and children.” Men know their close friends’ and relatives’ wife’s name, but there is no reason to say it. I would ask some of guys about their wife and kids if we were waiting for other guys to come but not in front of the group.

Only one of the research guys, who was adorably in love, ever said that name of his wife in front of the other men. When I finally met his wife, I said (in Arabic), “THE WOMAN!” and we smiled, laughed and went through the long process of exchanging greetings. By saying “the woman,” I was showing that I did not know her name (although I did) so that she could introduce herself to me. This is not what an Omani would do, but it was my work-around as her husband had told her about me and she had never met a Christian/ North American before (and might have been wondering why I was hanging out with her husband and his friends). I wanted to appear as non-threatening as possible and signal that he had been respectful of his wife by not saying her name.

When I met my American colleague’s wife, I somehow reverted to that situation and repeated the phrase instead of the expected, “how nice to meet you.”

Another hurdle is getting rid of things. In Oman there was always someone who wanted whatever I did not. If I bought cookies, tried one and didn’t like them, I would put them in a bag for the man who cleaned my office or the man who ran messages to different departments. I washed, folded and set out sheets, towels, clothes, shoes and purses for the woman who cleaned my house; the man who watered the plants got blankets and pillows. I recycled cans and cardboard and had a compost heap.

Living in a studio apartment, I do more recycling (yeah Cambridge!) but what to do with Christmas lights that are the wrong color, a pillow that’s too hard, a paint set I won’t use, freebies sent along with a mail-order? I finally started to leave things stealthily on a shelf in the laundry room of my building or in the kitchen at work, like a multi-purpose Easter bunny.

But the worst cultural hurdle for me is handshakes. I spent 19 years avoiding touching a man [ https://mariellerisse.com/2025/03/15/ethnography-navigating-shaking-hands-on-the-arabian-peninsula/ ] and I haven’t been able to get back into the habit.

The first time it happened, I was doing a simple task (like picking up an insurance card) and the man at the desk put his hand out. At the same moment I thought, “I do not want to shake his hand” and “I have to do this.” My primary reaction was unreasonable anger: “Why is this man forcing me to do something I did not want?” yet I also understood he was behaving normally. I was the one who was at odds with the prevailing culture. I managed to get my hand out and shake, but was relieved when I had to move to another clerk. But then when I left, I had to stop by that man’s desk again and, again, he wanted to shake. “What is your problem?” I thought to myself, forcing myself to be polite.

I had many years of verbal greetings and now 2 handshakes within 1/2 an hour! I was miserable and sprayed my hand with sanitizer after I left the building.

Before that day, the last time I had shook hands with a man was the day I left Oman. The Muslim man who drove me to the airport had been a friend for 19 years. As I turned to say goodbye, he put his hand out; we had never shaken hands so I was not expecting him to. I started crying so hard I could not speak; it was such a kind action, to do something against his culture and religion to signal my leaving. What was a simple every-day action by the American clerk at his desk, was a huge, important gesture at the Salalah airport. 

A few weeks after my first American hand-shake, I was in trouble again. A pleasant colleague held his hand out for a fist bump and I froze. Again, I was stuck thinking “I do not want to do this” and “I have to do this and I have to do this quickly or he is going to wonder what is wrong with me.” So, with kind of the same feeling as sticking my hand into a tiger’s cage, I managed the fist bump. 

After a few more fist bumps and a few more weeks of working together, I had a short conversation with him about my reluctance as, if he had noticed my hesitation/ discomfort, I wanted him to know it was not personal. My unease had nothing to do with him; it was caused by almost two decades of carefully avoiding that exact situation.

For the future, I don’t know what I will do. I might get back in the groove and glad hand people like a politician. Or I might retreat back to putting my right hand on my heart. I have told people for years that re-entry can be as difficult as moving abroad. And I was right about that.

Leaving Oman: Grief, Grandeur, Museums and Bringley’s ‘All the Beauty in The World’

Bibliography – Creating Effective Interactions: Researching, Teaching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula (forthcoming, Palgrave MacMillan)

Culture Shock: Bumpy Reentry and Moral Dilemmas

Ethnography – Staying Calm

Ethnography – Navigating Shaking Hands on the Arabian Peninsula

I started to write an essay about the problem of dealing with American handshakes, then realized I needed to back track and explain what handshakes mean in Oman.

In the Middle East, the basic premise is that women shake hands or kiss cheeks with women and men shake hands, kiss cheeks or bump noses with men. The exceptions usually are usually between men and women in business situations with non-Arabs and between family members.

It took me a little time after moving to Oman to realize that I should never put my hand out – if the man wanted to shake hands, he needed to put his out first. As I became friends with Omanis, I gradually adopted the local pattern of putting my right hand on my heart rather than shaking hands with a man. The change was partly because of the Dhofari culture understanding that if there is no need to do something, don’t do it.

Also, men who I didn’t know would come up to shake my hand and that felt odd. Several times an unknown man would walk into my office, stick out his hand, then get angry that I would not shake with him. I didn’t who they were (they never gave their name) or why they were doing it.

Their actions led to several conversations with my Omanis students in which I explained that in American culture – handshakes come with names. Either there is someone there to make the introduction or the person extending their hand says their name and their relationship (e.g., I live next door, I am here to fix your printer, I am the manager, I am your daughter’s teacher).

My stopping handshakes was also partially due to interactions with the research guys. A few of the guys shook hands with me the first few times we met, but that gradually ended. Shaking hands with a woman was not something they were comfortable with; they did it at first as a way of respecting my cultures, but as I got used to them and tried to fit in with their cultures, we stuck to verbal greetings.

This was in keeping with the general understanding that men should never touch a woman who was not proscribed from marriage (mother, sister, child, aunt, etc.). If a man did touch a woman before prayer-time, he would have to do the ritual washing before he prayed.

This comes across to some people as “women are pollution.” That’s not how I see it. First, a lot of actions can put a person out of the state of “ready to pray,” it’s not just a touch of a woman. In Islam, a person should make their body, mind and surroundings ready for prayer by creating a temporary sacred space (see below). I was once having a discussion with one of the guys about praying and I said that as a Methodist, I pray a lot, doing small prayers throughout the day in the midst of everyday actions such as brushing my teeth.

“Not in the bathroom!” he snapped.

“God is everywhere,” I answered. For him, God is everywhere but when you pray, you should be solely focused on prayer.

When I first started having picnics with the research guys, their saying “Don’t touch me!” was sometimes annoying as it did not seem a big deal if I bumped someone by accident as we were trying to fit 6 of us around a platter of food, passing lemons, knives, bottles of water and Kleenex. I felt that they were being unfriendly.

I gradually understood that they felt I was being uncoordinated and unhelpful. I wasn’t pollution; I was inept for grabbing a spoon at the same time they did. And the result was that they had to spend the time and water to get ready for prayers. So, I got less clumsy and learned how to notice my surroundings more carefully.

The “Don’t touch me” was part of a much larger lesson about understanding how to move myself and objects through space. For example, if someone needed the floss I would put it in my right hand, pull my hand back to my right shoulder and then throw it at their center mass as hard as I could. This is not the way to move objects! They told me to put the object in my right hand, bring my right hand down to my right hip and loft it up, so that the trajectory was not a straight line but an arc which would end with the object in the lap of the person I was throwing to.

That took a while to learn, but I got it. And I learned how to pass Kleenex boxes by holding on to one end, with the far end towards another person. I learned to hold a cough drop in my gathered fingers, wait until a guy held his palm open underneath, then let it fall.

The lesson that made the biggest impression on me was passing teacups. Tea was served very hot in small cups and, from their culture, you should make sure everyone else has a cup before you drink; this meant I was constantly passing hot cups. I would grab the bottom and be told “Take the top!” To me, that was rude because it meant putting my fingers on the place they would be drinking from. I finally asked, “WHY do I have to take the top?”

They told me, “The bottom is too hot, you will hurt yourself.” Which was absolutely true, grabbing the bottom of a thin carboard cup full of water just off the boil was painful. And for months they had individually and collectively organized cup-passing so that I had the easy part (holding the rim of the cup) and they would take the hard part (holding the bottom).

So, when people try to explain to me that Omani men see women as pollution, the image that comes to mind is a group of men shaking their hands because their fingers are scorched.

Then came Covid and I was enormously grateful for the Omani convention of keeping 4- or 5-feet away from strangers and acquaintances. I always had a healthy buffer zone between me and everyone else. There was no need for those stickers on the floor telling people where to stand in lines. If you were with family, stickers were not going to keep you apart; if you were with strangers, no one was going to stand close to you whether there were instructions or not.

The result of hundreds of picnics with the research guys and an epidemic is that one of the hardest aspects of returning to America is how often people want to shake hands, something I no longer want to do.

Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions

Ethnography – Staying Calm

Returning to USA – Culture Shock essays

Religion and spaces in houses (from Houseways in Southern Oman, 2023)

A few months after I met one of the research guys he said to me, “I want to see you pray.” The men always did their prayers if we happened to be together at a prayer time, so he knew I had seen what they did and, as he had never seen a Methodist pray before, I recognized the same “how do you do that” type of question that I always asked them. I was sitting cross-legged, so I clasped my hands and rested them on my shins, took a deep breath, closed my eyes and said the Lord’s Prayer and St. Francis’ prayer (“Lord, make me an instrument of your peace”). This elicited a lot of conversations over several weeks about what “doing prayers” means.

One awareness that came out of these conversations is that I myself understand two types of prayers: prayers which a person does at anytime and anyplace with no preparation and prayers that are in a sacred space, i.e., when I walk into a church, I feel I am in an area set-apart from all aspects of daily life as everything in the building makes me focus on my relationship with God.

In my opinion, when the research guys pray there is always some external support in that they will always make physical adjustments, such as doing the ritual washing, adjusting their clothing, facing Mecca and, if possible, laying down a prayer mat. If we are on a boat, lines are pulled out of the water, one man does the call to prayer, hands and mouths are cleaned and the man who will lead the prayers moves closest to the direction of Mecca as the boat temporarily becomes a sacred space. As I don’t want to interfere with the moments of preparation or prayer, I huddle close to the side of the boat and look at the water.

Praying in a mosque is the best way to pray; as one informant told me, “better in the mosque, all other places are the same.” Thus, if they are not in a mosque, the research guys create the sacred wherever they are. In asking about the sacred in houses, informants answered the same way: the majlis, salle or bedroom were equally good, as was any “clean” space. Praying is not acceptable in the bathroom and not advised in a kitchen.

In Dhofar, Omani women do not usually go to the mosque to pray except in Ramadan, thus spaces in their homes become their sacred spaces, a change that is created by their intentions and actions. They usually pray in their bedroom, but none of my informants told me that they had a specific place for prayers. When the call to prayer is heard from the nearest mosque or a cell-phone reminder, the person will wash, adjust clothing (for example a woman will make sure her sheila is tightly wound around her head), lay down the prayer mat and make the gesture to start the prayers. In the same way, if someone wants to read the Holy Qur’an, they will make sure they and their clothes are clean, set up the wooden stand to hold the book in a clean area and begin reading.

image of small boat in blue ocean seen from above

Practicalities of Moving to the Arabian Peninsula: Navigating Public Spaces

I am happy to announce that my 4th book, Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions, will be available in June – https://link.springer.com/book/10.1007/978-981-96-5326-3

This book outlines strategies for current or soon-to-be business professionals, government employees, researchers and teachers to communicate, study and work effectively on the Arabian Peninsula. Using first-person accounts, as well as scholarly research from the fields of history, anthropology, political science, travel writing and literature, this book gives clear advice for expats wanting to create successful interactions with people from Arabian Peninsula societies. By discussing how the practicalities of work and research intersect with cultural norms, this book fills the gap between tourist guides aimed at the causal tourists and academic texts on narrowly defined topics.

Navigating Public Spaces – walking

People who come from cultures in which it’s normal and easy to go by foot and/ or public transportation for shopping, work and recreation might have to adjust their expectations. Some mixed-use developments, like the Pearl in Qatar and City Walk in Dubai, are set up for ease of movement, but they are the exception.

Maneval mentions that “streets in contemporary neighbourhoods in Jeddah have been designed for cars and not for pedestrians…Except for a few streets in the old town and its adjacent neighbourhoods, there are no pavements” (2019 180). The same holds true in most towns on the Arabian Peninsula. Home-owners will often pave the section between the house wall and the street to use as a parking space, but there are often no sidewalks. To walk from one house to another, you will constantly move between different types of paving stones, gravel, parked cars, dumpsters and rocky open land.

Sometimes the house takes up all of the land and the house wall is so close to the street that the owner must park in the street. While this isn’t legal, it’s also not complained about and no one would suggest tearing down the house wall to get the cars out of the streets, so although all residential areas are designed with two-way streets, practically-speaking many have only the center of the street open for driving.

The mosque is seen as the center of the neighborhood; men walk to it for the 5 daily prayers if they are in the house at prayer time. This walking is the only time I have seen men walk within neighborhoods. Women do not often go to the mosque, but some will walk around the neighborhood with children as exercise. 

The area around a mosque is usually paved with flag stones where men stand and talk before and after prayers. During Ramadan, this space can be used for iftar, the sunset meal to break the fast, with dates, pastries, fruit with water, juice and/ or butter milk (laban), etc. given free. The space is also used to collect goods during charity drives. 

Many mosques share a side wall with a shop. There might be only one small grocery store or a few shops including a bakery, vegetable store and/ or dry-cleaners. Men can stop and pick up necessities for the house on the way back from prayers and children are sent to get last-minute items for meal preparation or to buy sweets. Many neighborhood mosques have small playgrounds near them.

In commercial areas, there is also usually little walking. While a row of shops with aligned storefronts may have a short, common sidewalk, walking between stores means navigating many different types of paving materials, open spaces and parked cars, with the additional hazard of dripping air conditioners.

Many expats live in high-rise apartment buildings which have small shops on the first floor, e.g. dry clearer, coffee shop, small grocery store, fruit and vegetable store, shoe repair, etc. There is endless duplication so that if your building does not have a shop you need, a nearby building probably will. The clerks in the store can bring whatever is needed up to an apartment and an apartment dweller can pick up whatever is needed on the way to or from work.

Walking for fun is usually done in public spaces set up by municipal governments for recreational purposes, such outdoor shopping malls, walking paths, picnic areas and beaches. As one researcher told me, “You drive to walk.” Meaning, you often need to get into your car to get to a place where it’s fun and comfortable to walk.

Since land is bought and sold in parcels which are developed at different times, you can often find a luxury property next to empty lot which might be used as a garbage tip. There is seldom the cheek and jowl, seamless, block after block of retail stores that you can find in European downtowns. You might park in scrubland then walk in the street to get to your office building or live in an enclave that is surrounded by sandy waste.

No matter what you are wearing, if you are walking in public, you are going to be stared at which can be frightening if you come from a culture in which eye contact from strangers is a sign of danger. Some people love this attention, some hate it – but there is no way to stop it. Dressing immodestly may cause more staring, but dressing conservatively does not prevent it. Wearing sunglasses, walking with someone and not looking at other people can help you minimize the discomfort and there is rarely any overt behavior (such as being followed or called out to), but you are going to be observed and judged at every public appearance. 

Navigating Public Spaces – gender issues

If you come from a culture which does not have a focus on keeping space between men and women in public, there might be some adjustments as you get used to the Arabian Peninsula. There are three basic ways to keep a male/ female separation in public: 1) laws/ government regulations, 2) how the buildings are planned, i.e., built-in elements and 3) people’s individual choices.

For example, some commercial and public spaces have laws such as women-only restaurants or women-only days at a shopping festival or park or women-only wards in a hospital.

Depending on where you are, you might see specific written instructions such as “family area” or “women and families only on Tuesdays.” Some restaurants have the family area upstairs with the entry through a different door. Sometimes the family section is a group of small closed rooms or it is divided from the open section by a low wall.        

Some locations don’t have laws or built-in barriers, but people walk and sit in ways to create gender divisions in places such as the gate area in airports and on beaches. Several years ago my bank started an initiative to have a “women’s only” teller complete with a long, narrow, pink carpet for women to stand on while waiting. Before this, women wearing black abayahs would often cut to the front of the line or stand in line, then men would gesture for them to go to the front. Women who were not conservatively dressed would wait in line but there would be a little extra empty space ahead of and behind them.

The “women’s only line” initiative fizzled out fairly soon (I never saw a woman in the women’s teller space, although there are female tellers) and was eventually replaced with a ticket system in which each person would take a numbered ticket when they arrived and wait for the number to be called. The chairs in the waiting area are not marked in any way, but are always divided by the people waiting with women in one section and men in another.

Similarly, in Oman hospitals and clinics often have ‘women-only’ and ‘men-only’ waiting rooms but you can find people sitting and looking in ways to create privacy for others. For example, a man who is with his mother might sit in the ‘women-only area,’ but stay next to the door. Several times when men in my research group have been sick, I have visited them, sometimes staying for hours in areas marked ‘men-only.’ And I know that sons, brothers, husbands and fathers walk into ‘women-only’ wards to visit female relatives.

In general, both men and women can define their wish to apart by using location and clothing. For example, one woman might choose to sit in the open section of a restaurant, while another pulls the back of the sheila over her face to cover her eyes as she walks to the woman-only section.

And just as there are signals that you want privacy, there are signals that you don’t want privacy, i.e., “look at me” behavior – talking loudly, gesticulating, wearing a lot of perfume and clothes to accentuate shape, this includes men wearing brightly colored and/ or very tight fitting dishdashes.

Sometimes the signal is: “look at me being virtuous,” i.e., preforming conservative beliefs in public in a way that attracts attention so that you know you will to be under observation. For example, in an airplane, some Dhofari women make a very public controversy about refusing to sit next a man; this can be done very loudly with raised voices, blocking the aisle, refusing to sit where asked, arguing with a stewardess, etc.[1]

How privacy works in public areas is not simply the physical set-up, distance or clothing, locals also use deliberate systems of noticing and not noticing to grant a kind of seclusion to others. For example, sometimes Omanis purposefully don’t “see” people who share their space. This can be a way of showing respect; a married man who is walking with his wife in a mall might be ignored by friends who pass him or acknowledge him only with a small gesture such as lifting the eyebrows.

If I am sitting alone in a café, men who know me will often ignore me until either another man from my research groups comes to sit with me or they are leaving the café. What often happens is that they will walk slowly, allowing their friends to go ahead, then come to my table to say hello, while their friends wait outside the door.

A general rule of thumb is that if you are male, learn to make room for conservatively dressed females, even if within your own culture women make way for men. On the walking paths, men need to move to the side to let women pass; on beaches and in picnic areas, if there are women sitting together, it is expected that no man will approach them.

If you are male and accidently bump into a local woman, take up whatever the “I’m sorry” position is in your culture. For many North Americans that means hands up at shoulder-height, slightly away from the body, palms facing the person you touched, while slowly backing up.

If you are female and not dressed like a local, be prepared that some men will refuse to notice your existence, to the point of practically running you over in hallways.

            [1] This can also be done politely and without fanfare. Once, as I stood next to my aisle seat preparing to sit down, the man in the middle seat spoke quietly to his young son at the window, who then switched places with him. The son clearly wanted to be by the window, but the father did not want to sit next to me.

man sleeping on desert floor

Leaving Oman: Grief, Grandeur, Museums and Bringley’s ‘All the Beauty in The World’

(In memory of Steve Cass)

I usually walk to work through a beautiful colonnade of trees but one day four trees had been taken out by municipal workers. Since I had been looking at those trees every day for months, I knew one had a squirrel’s nest. As it was now January and there was no leaf litter on the ground, I knew that squirrel was in trouble. So, the next time I went to the grocery store, I got unsalted peanuts and every morning I would scatter some at the base of the nearest tree.

It took me three weeks to realize that I was tossing peanuts because I identified with that squirrel. I had lived in Oman for 19 years and had to leave with a few months’ notice. By the grace of God, I have my family and friends, but I lost so much, that even with a nice studio apartment and a good temporary job, I feel like that squirrel, suddenly tossed out of a warm, safe space into a bleak January.

When I left Oman, I lost my job and, far more than that, I lost my main career. For 19 years, I taught stories, poetry and dramas to non-literature majors to help them improve their language skills and cultural knowledge. I don’t fit into American universities’ English departments whose students know English and don’t need to learn about North American/ UK/EU cultures. And I don’t have the training or temperament to teach English as a Second Language using language textbooks.

I lost my second career as an anthropologist. Over a decade of study, I taught myself how to do ethnographic research and wrote four books. But I don’t fit in Anthropology departments as I don’t have a related degree and I have never taken an anthropology course.

I also lost stuff: my beloved 2009 pick-up that drove me up mountains, across deserts and along beaches. I lost my hand-painted furniture, my teak chairs, wool rugs, clothes, everything that was in my kitchen and hundreds of books, all given away to friends.

And I lost a lot of who I was. I visit my mom every six weeks or so, but beyond that, I am at home or at work. I used to be social but since I have been back in the States I have been out to lunch once with relatives, had coffee with a friend, dinner with friends and attended one party. Four activities in eight months when I used to have four social activities in a week.

In an effort to get out more, I went to the Boston Museum of Fine Arts. Walking into the Ancient Egypt section felt like coming home. It was so peaceful and lovely, it seemed as if I was putting down a burden that I hadn’t realized I was carrying.

I wandered around the museum for three hours in a daze, in the words of Emily Dickenson

Inebriate of air – am I –
And Debauchee of Dew –
Reeling – thro’ endless summer days –
From inns of molten Blue –

I liked “Woman and Flowers” by Alma-Tadema, one of my favorite painters, but the painting I loved most was “Rest on the Flight into Egypt” by Luc Olivier Merson, such a quiet, graceful scene.

I bought a membership to the museum and within a month I was back. I paid a visit to the Egyptian section, then ventured further out, into the American and impressionists exhibits. Two weeks later, I spent another morning walking around without a map. It was nice to come across Paul Revere’s silverwork and the painting of flowers exhibit, but the only places I really wanted to be was in front of Merson’s painting or anything Middle Eastern from before 1500 CE.

Walking into a room in the Ancient Egyptian section that I hadn’t seen before, I suddenly understood why the museum brought me such serenity. The cases were full of small, wooden boats full of men in white sarongs. “Oh,” I realized, “they look like the research guys.” Most of the Omani men I did ethnographic research with are full- or part-time fishermen. They wear a wazar, a piece of fabric wrapped around their waists that falls to their knees which is often plain white cotton or white with a light checkered or striped pattern.

And the man in the painting “Rest on the Flight into Egypt” sleeps as the research guys sleep when they are camping, directly on sand next to a fire with a blanket underneath and a blanket over which is pulled up to cover the face. For everyone else, the man in the painting is Joseph; for me, it’s one of 15 different men who I was friends with, went fishing with, had hundreds of picnics with, asked questions of and who I miss terribly.

My grief is much smaller than most people who have been displaced by wars and hatred. Relatives co-signed my lease so I have a place to stay; my mom helps me get through a Boston winter by gifting flannel sheets and sweaters. By the grace of God, I have landed with the kindest group of co-workers. But I stand in front of that painting and cry as it seems to hold all the harmony that I have lost.

And, as so often happens, the book I needed to understand how I felt appeared at the right time. Amidst the postcards and scarves in the museum shop, I saw All the Beauty in the World: The Metropolitan Museum of Art and Me by Patrick Bringley. Although my favorite museum is the Frick, I also love the Met and the cover mentioned something about grief, so I thought it would be interesting.

I read it in one morning, crying all the way through. What Bringley gets so right is how a loss, even when you know it’s coming and you have a pretty good idea how much it is going to hurt, stops the forward motion of your life. His book isn’t “feel-good” or “how-to”; after his brother died, Bringley walked away from his career and became a security guard at the Met for ten years.

I understand that kind of change. Several acquaintances have been shocked that, after almost two decades as assistant and associate professor, I am working as an administrative assistant. I apply for jobs I am qualified for, such as teacher training, but I am very content doing something less complicated. Rest is good.

And while the book is about grief and the solace of art, Bringley also knows the solace of time passing and how, even you want to cling to a certain kind of numbness, beauty (however you define it) will lead you back to life.

Reading All the Beauty in the World made me realize that I wasn’t only missing my Omani friends, I was missing beauty, the sublime moments of natural splendor that were so common in Oman and totally absent from my life in Boston.

For me, beauty comes straight on, like a ghost walking through you. You feel like you have been passed through a sieve that takes out all your daily, small worries as you stand in front of that gorgeous scenery. That happened constantly when I was in Oman.

I could go to a miles-long beach with clean sand where I could sit or walk without being bothered by another person. I would meet the research guys for dinner in small sandy coves, where you could not see any lights except on boats far out to sea. After dinner, we would sit and talk for hours, looking up at a sky full of stars. Some nights there were meteor showers; in the spring the water had phosphorescence. If we went out on a boat, there were pods of dolphins, whales, sea turtles and all the different types of fish they were catching. I walked down into sinkholes full of birdsong; in the monsoon season I had tea next to waterfalls.

And now I live in Boston which has nice parks and some pretty streets but you can’t see stars. Is there a place in the States that has a miles-long stretch of beach with pristine sand, ocean water that’s clean and warm enough to swim in, where you can camp, build a fire and it’s safe for a woman to sit alone for hours after dark?

I am snug in my tiny apartment but I don’t have grandeur. I don’t have vistas. I don’t have the chance to stand on the edge of a cliff and look down on the lights of a small town by the ocean and look up to the wide sweep of a dark sky full of constellations. When I see “Rest on the Flight into Egypt,” I remember that I have camped in deserts like that. I have driven across deserts during the day chatting away with research guys and driven across deserts at night alone, playing music and watching the stars that came down almost clear to the horizon.  

The problem with tasting a liquor never brewed is that one day, there will be no more such liquor and you will stand in a museum with tears streaming down your face.

I taste a liquor never brewed –
From Tankards scooped in Pearl –
Not all the Frankfort Berries
Yield such an Alcohol!

Inebriate of air – am I –
And Debauchee of Dew –
Reeling – thro’ endless summer days –
From inns of molten Blue –

When “Landlords” turn the drunken Bee
Out of the Foxglove’s door –
When Butterflies – renounce their “drams” –
I shall but drink the more!

Till Seraphs swing their snowy Hats –
And Saints – to windows run –
To see the little Tippler
Leaning against the – Sun!

Rest on the Flight into Egypt, Luc Olivier Merson,

Navigating Working in USA without Speaking English, part 2

Navigating Working in USA without Speaking English, part 1

I recently walked into a branch of a large, nation-wide company and realized that no one who worked there could communicate in English. It was not that they clerks did not understand fast, idiomatic English or they spoke with hesitation or they had some grammar mistakes. None of the three workers could answer the question “What is that?” when I pointed to one of the few products that they were selling.

The store was set up so that customers typed their request into a computer on the counter and paid with a credit card. When the computer pinged that the order was paid for, the clerks packaged the product and put it in a bag. If customers had questions, they were supposed to go the company’s website. I was messing up the system by talking to the clerks.

I have taught non-native speakers of English for over two decades so I was smiling, talking softly and trying simplification, restatement and other communicative methods, but they didn’t have any basics. I have been in countries where I could not communicate, but to work with such a linguistic chasm? Scary. It was after dark, 15 degrees outside and if one of them was in trouble, they could only run outside and hope to find someone who spoke their language. If there was any kind of problem they could not get information quickly; imagine if someone ran in and yelled “fire.”

This is personal as I am haunted by the death of Hawa Barry’s son in February, 2003. Barry was riding in a Boston subway car when a man yelled out a warning that someone had a gun. As other passengers tried to take cover, Barry did not understand the warning and stayed in her seat. She was struck by a bullet and went into premature labor. Her son died shortly after birth.

At the time, I was teaching a Red Cross citizenship class to students who had a low-level of English. When I read the news article about Barry, I thought, “that could have been one of my students.” During the next class, I tried to teach my students what to do if someone yells “duck.” The students thought this was very funny but I was trying to hold back tears.

In Oman I was back on the other side of a linguistic divide. Despite my repeated requests, the university where I worked usually sent out e-mails only in Arabic. I would open one with a few sentences in a huge, red font replete with exclamation points and have to call the secretary to find out what was going on.

And, of course, it is not just language. To be in a new place means constant adjustments and occasional panics. When I was sitting in a cafe in the mall, I heard a loud alarm going off. I looked around me, wondering if I needed to get up and leave. A man at near-by table said to me, “ok, smoking, no problem.” Not exactly reassuring (what was smoking?!) but since no one was moving, I decided to stay put.

I later found out that the alarm sounding meant that meant a man decided he wanted to smoke but didn’t want to walk all the way to the main entrance, so he walked out the emergency exit, triggering the fire alarm.  No problem when you understood what was going on, but scary when you didn’t know.

I will never buy anything from that company again as I feel that company’s behavior is unconscionable. They want cheap workers and people want jobs, but to allow your staff to work in such a precarious position is evil.

Returning to USA – Culture Shock essays

Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions

How NOT to Describe People Who Are Foreign to You: Exoticizing Omanis

“What He Thought,” Heather McHugh

Returning to USA – Culture Shock essays

 

Culture Shock – Returning to USA

Culture Shock: The Basics

Culture Shock: (Not) Being Under Observation

Culture Shock: The Parable of the Boxes

Culture Shock: The Land of Detachment and Toolboxes

Culture Shock: Bumpy Reentry and Moral Dilemmas

Culture Shock – Communication is Always the Worst Part, part 1

Culture Shock – Communication is Always the Worst Part (Don’t Lie), part 2

Culture Shock – Drugs, Medicines, Choices and Chances

Cultural Preferences for Gathering Information – Talk to a Person or Type into your Phone?

Navigating without Language

Teaching: Reflections on Culture Shocks