Navigating Working in USA without Speaking English, part 1

Many people who have traveled though Arabian Peninsula airports have had the experience of a stranger giving them a plane ticket. The first time it happened to me, I was startled and asked the person what they wanted. They answered in a language I did not understand and tried again to give me their plane ticket. I realized they were trying to figure out where to get their flight.

I went with them to screen showing departures, figured out their gate and pointed them in the right direction. As I watched them walk away, I marveled at their trust. I could have been malevolent and sent them in the wrong direction but they smiled and nodded at me, then walked off believing that I had given them the right information.

This happened to me many times and each time I am impressed at people’s faith in other humans. Often these people did not speak Arabic or English; they would just walk up to me, hand over papers and trust that I will help.

People making deliveries at the university where I used to work would do the same thing: walk into my office and give me boxes of goods meant for someone else. They would leave and I would sort out where the items were supposed to be.

In those circumstances, I thought about how I would cope in a country where I did not speak the language or understand how to read written script. Although I studied Ancient Greek, navigating in Greece was difficult and I can’t imagine how people manage when they have no way of communicating. Even with location apps and computer translation, getting to a specific place is not easy.

Then a few days ago, the same thing happened at work in the States. A delivery person went to the wrong location, so I ventured out to find them. When I finally figured out where they were, I discovered a person who had no communitive ability in English. They simply stood next to the goods and when I approached, they offered me their phone.  

I asked a few simple questions; they only shook their head and gestured for me to take their phone. When I looked at their screen, it was open to a fairly complex delivery app which needed verification for the delivery. Since the person was in the wrong place, I needed to re-enter the delivery location, then page through several screens so I could enter my name and sign. I completed the transaction and handed the phone back. They nodded and walked away, off to make another delivery.

It reminds me of when I taught Red Cross citizenship classes years ago. All of my students had a full-time job, plus the night classes and were navigating through Boston with a very low-level of English. 

That is a kind of bravery I cannot hope to emulate.

Navigating Working in USA without Speaking English, part 2

Cultural Preferences for Gathering Information – Talk to a Person or Type into your Phone?

Culture Shock – Returning to USA

How NOT to Describe People Who Are Foreign to You: Exoticizing Omanis

Using Creative Writing Prompts in Foreign Language Learning

Cultural Preferences for Gathering Information – Talk to a Person or Type into your Phone?

4 months into readjusting to the States and my cultural shock is ebbing. I am thankfully out of “toddler brain,” when I said anything that came to my mind. My imposter syndrome is also slowly fading; I no longer feel that I am “playing” at being American.

The exhaustion still comes and goes in irregular waves. I am still surprised at how many Americans move through the world distracted: looking at a screen, listening/ talking as they walk. I am slowly learning not to call people “dear”; in Oman, women at work often call each other a nickname, term of endearments or a matronymic [“mother of,” such as Um Ahmed]. First names are not commonly used in Oman, whereas in American workspaces, using first names is expected and endearments are NOT appropriate.

Three issues have surprised me. The first is what “I am sorry” means. I spent years in Oman explaining that “I am sorry” in America means “I am not happy to hear that,” not “I am responsible.” However, I am now seeing that this is a Midwestern usage.

I drop “I am sorry” several times a day in the office and I am constantly told “you don’t need to say that!” But after 5 years in Wisconsin and 5 years in North Dakota, I am hard-wired to apologize for any of my actions that caused a problem for others. Not to mention apologizing when I hear any kind of bad news and, on occasion, apologizing to pieces of furniture that I bump into. That midwestern outlook is impossible to shake.

A second, more serious, issue is rethinking communication styles. I have written several essays about how Omanis convey information in indirect ways. For example, when a female Omani friend wrote “Hi” to me on a WhatsApp message, I knew that meant there is a big problem to discuss and when I reply, I need to make sure I have at least 10 minutes free to chat about what is going on. (If she was just checking in/ sending a greeting, she would write more than one word. One word = emergency.) As I learned this style of communicating, I contrasted it to a more direct American style.

But now that I am back in the States, I am often confused about what Americans are trying to convey to me. When I hear, “it’s Ok,” I don’t know if that means, “it’s Ok” or “it’s not Ok but I have to pretend it’s Ok so, without my being clear, you should pick up that I am not Ok.”

The most important issue that I am still struggling with is how to gather information. In Oman, you get data from people by walking into someone’s office or (gasp!) calling them.

I am learning that in the States, you don’t call. You chat if you run into someone in the office, but you often communicate with colleagues through electronic means, such as Slack. But even more importantly, you should try to figure out the problem yourself using electronic means: Google, YouTube, etc.

My colleagues have been very patient as I work through this transition. I never think to use my phone when I don’t understand something. I stand up and go find a person to ask. More than once, I have walked up to a group of several people, asked a question and everyone picked up their phone to find the answer. I was startled and embarrassed, although no one has said anything to me, the implication is: figure it out with a search engine.

It’s an on-going adjustment to realize that data is out there in the ether for me to find instead of residing in a person who I need to ask.

Culture Shock: The Land of Detachment and Toolboxes

Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions

Culture Shock: (Not) Being Under Observation

Culture Shock – Drugs, Medicines, Choices and Chances

Reflections on Ethnographic Work: Being Safe and Secure

I will be presenting “Conducting Research on the Arabian Peninsula: How To Create Effective Interactions” at the Middle East Studies Association Annual Conference

I will be presenting my paper “Conducting Research on the Arabian Peninsula: How To Create Effective Interactions” at the Middle East Studies Association Annual Conference on Nov. 13 at 11:30 EST.

https://my-mesa.org/program/sessions/view/eyJpdiI6InVvTitCY2FmRlFVaWt0Ym1vRkh4OGc9PSIsInZhbHVlIjoiUmN6bTAyWlloNnkzelNYei82ZlJxZz09IiwibWFjIjoiOGQxNmUwMjE2ZTdjZWZhYWJlMWUyMzNkNGRlZWM4NGYyNTk4ZWVlYjQyZGQwNDM1ODIwYThiMTA1NjUwMTIyYyIsInRhZyI6IiJ9

abstract

My talk outlines strategies for anthropologists and researchers to communicate effectively on the Arabian Peninsula, with a concentration on Southern Arabia. Using first-person ethnographic accounts, as well as scholarly texts from the fields of anthropology, history, literature, political science and travel writing, this presentation will give clear advice so non-locals can create successful interactions. As I have lived on the Arabian Peninsula for more than 20 years, this talk is a distillation of observations, academic research and a longstanding, deep involvement within local communities. My background experience includes teaching cultural studies classes at the graduate and undergraduate level, giving lectures about local cultures to visiting expats, doing orientation lectures for new faculty, publishing scholarly and non-fiction articles about cultural interactions and taking classes taught by locals.

How NOT to Describe People Who Are Foreign to You: Exoticizing Omanis

A recent article in a major English-language newspaper about the Dhofar region of Oman included the sentence:

They [Omanis] are immensely private, with women rarely leaving the home and men going about their work in tribal clothes with elaborate head wraps, rifles and decorative daggers known as khanjars.

I taught at a university in the Dhofar region for 19 years, returning to the States 3 months ago. This text is not only similar to many travel articles, it is similar to books written in the early 1900s in which Omanis were portrayed as primitive and exotic.

There are a couple of layers to the above quote. One is that Dhofari women do leave the home. They might be a pharmacist, a teacher, a small-business owner or a director within a large organization. They might work in a law office, a restaurant, an airline or a company that leads tours for foreigners. Their work might also be taking care of goats, cultivating plants, gathering shellfish, designing clothes, taking photographs at events or making perfumes. These are some of the jobs that my female Dhofari friends have; I also have female friends who are studying for graduate degrees.

And they leave the house for the social work of connecting with and supporting family members by visiting new mothers and the newly wed, relatives who are not feeling well, elderly family members, those who are mourning and those who are celebrating.

Lastly, “rarely leaving the home” when writing about Muslim, tribal women usually carries the implied meaning of “not allowed to leave.” Thus, a woman who stays home might be viewed as inactive, isolated, not earning money and/or unhappy. However, homes in Oman are frequently multi-generational with over 30 family members living together. In addition, homes of relatives are often located close to each other so that people can walk short distances to see parents, siblings, cousins, etc.

The Dhofari women I know who don’t study or have conventional employment have options. They might be the social lynch pin for their family by acting as primary care-giver for a disabled relative, running a day-care for their nieces, nephews and neighbors’ children or being responsible for not only all the meals in the house, but also for feeding impoverished neighbors and/ or relatives. Or they might learn foreign languages, do the floor-plan for the new family house, run a web-site devoted to reading and culture, or create an Instagram business that centers on food, beauty, fashion or perfume.

I know that a travel writer, excited about a culture that is new to them, might not want to go into all these kinds of details. But when the writer was in Dhofar, they saw dozens, if not hundreds, of women outside the house. Women drive (there are women taxi drivers) and work in hotels, stores and the airport. And the writer saw dozens, if not hundreds, of men who were not carrying guns or knives. Men who herd animals carry a gun for protection from wolves and hyenas; men going to a formal event such as a wedding, wear a khanjar (dagger), belt and shawl as part of standard ceremonial attire.

Why write something that was constantly disproved by observation? And if the writer was told this information, I think that journalists should ask themselves when interviewing a person: What is this person getting in return?

A journalist/ writer is getting good copy when they conduct an interview. They are gathering quotes to weave into their story which they plan to publish, hoping their words will be read, discussed, cited and passed on. But the interviewee is also thinking of the future – they want their words to be read and they may be speaking to create or counteract opinions.

Several times when I was doing research an Omani interviewee would make a statement and then remark how they were speaking through me to an intended audience. For example, when talking to Dhofari men about driving their female kin to visit relatives, one said, “I know you [Americans] think we are not good with our women.”

An Omani saying “women [are] rarely leaving the home” might be talking through the journalist to represent the area in a certain way. Again, a casual visitor might not know all these kinds of details but the solution is simple: avoid blanket statements by adding modifiers: “some women” and “some men.” Another way to avoid this kind of overgeneralization is to ask Omanis and/ or people familiar with the area to double-check the article before publication

To me, the above quote sounds like “zoo mode,” i.e., let’s talk about these perfectly normal people as though they were exotic animals. When a person in Cambridge, MA wears a scarf because it is cold, am I going to talk about “elaborate head wraps”? No. Dhofari men wear scarves that are as exotic and take as much time to put on as my L.L. Bean scarf.

Why write that Dhofaris have “tribal clothes”? Why not simply explain what they are wearing? Every culture has tribal clothes. I work in Cambridge where the tribal clothes are khakis with button-down shirts and everyone is carrying their SPECIAL, SACRED, TRIBAL OBJECT: a waterbottle.

(Minor point – the article includes a photo with the caption “The beaches can get busy in the khareef [monsoon] season.” The photo was not taken during the khareef season because the ocean is quiet; there are no waves. In the khareef season, there are high waves for over two months.)

my essay about “zoo mode” – Reflections on Ethnographic Research: Changes within Cultures

a discussion of “zoo mode” in travel books from the 1890s-1950s (from Annotated Bibliography of Texts Pertaining to the Dhofar Region of Oman)

Theodore and Mabel had already explored in Italy, Greece, Bahrain, South Africa, Ethiopia, Sudan and Yemen when they arrived in Oman. Their trip to Dhofar began when they left “Maskat” (Muscat) December 17th, 1894 and traveled by ship south along the coast, arriving in Mirbat on January 20. They left the Dhofar region from Al Hafa (part of modern day Salalah) on January 23, 1894. They traveled along the coast and a short distance in the mountains in the late 1800s; I believe they are the first Westerners to visit the Dhofar mountains to write a description of it.

Although James and Mabel Bent were not in the employ of the British government, they were quintessential Victorian age travelers who, in their writing, specifically support British imperialism in their  Southern Arabia (1900/ 2005).[5] The book, written by Mabel after Theodore died soon after they returned to England from Oman, viewed all landscapes through the perspective of how the land might be useful to the Empire:

If this tract of country comes into the hands of a civilizing nation, it will be capable of great and useful development…and a health resort for the inhabitants [i.e. British inhabitants] of the burnt-up centers of Arabian commerce, Aden and Maskat (274).

The Gibalis, here referred to as Qara, traveling with the Bents, however, saw the Bents as equals. The Qara men she traveled with always addressed her, to her anger, only as “Mabel” (with the prefix when calling a person “ya,” i.e., Ya Mabel!) and informed the Bents that “they did not wish us to give them orders of any kind as they were sheikhs” and “We are gentleman” (258, 266). The mountain people of Dhofar, Mabel Bent writes, are “endowed with a spirit of independence which makes him resent the slightest approach to legal supervision…They would not march longer than they liked; they would only take us where they wished… and if we asked them not to sing at night and disturb our rest, they always set to work with greater vigor” (248).

But she does include a fair amount of real information, taking the time for example to explain how indigo is used to dye clothes (145).  She describes the scenery with careful attention to plants, rock formations, distances, etc. (e.g., Wadi Ghersid, 256; Wadi Nahast, 265) and, noticing that the language spoken in the “Gara” [Qara] mountains was not a dialect, she includes a few words (275). Some of her information is still current. She mentions, for example, that oaths “to divorce a favorite wife, are really good” (180) and the technique of cooking on stones (250) which I have seen practiced several times.

The Bents eventually stop struggling to control and “we gave up any attempt to guide our own footsteps, but left ourselves entirely in his [Sheik Sehel] hands, to take us whether he would and spend as long about it as he liked” (257) but her summation is typical of British Victorian-era travelers: “we had discovered a real Paradise in the wilderness, which will be a rich prize for the civilized nation which is enterprising enough to appropriate it” (276).

A geologist who traveled with Bertram Thomas on a short visit to Dhofar in the 19020s writes

Regarding the interesting non-Arab tribes, the Mahri and the Gara…They are entirely nomad, and live under the shelter of trees or caves. They have no cultivation, but live on the produce of large herds of cattle and some camels. I found them always very friendly, and on several occasions I was persuaded to partake of a meal with them…Their diet consists exclusively of meat and milk products. Firearms are very scare among these tribes, instead they are armed with very poor quality swords and small shields of wood or shark-skin. They are also very adept at throwing a short pointed stick. (Lees 1928 456, 457).

As the title suggests, Bertram Thomas’s Arabia Felix Across the Empty Quarter of Arabia (1932) is happy book which details his famous first crossing of the Empty Quarter starting from Salalah. He begins the book with a general history told with imperialistic British moralizing judgment, i.e., “for where treachery is a habit of mind, men are actuated by the stern necessities of the moment, not by any principles of morality.” As the Bents discovered, Thomas asserts that “A European who would travel happily must be prepared to adapt himself to their standards” but “[o]ften I found myself the only member of my party in the saddle, while the others walked for long hours to spare their mounts” (192, 176).  The main differences between Thomas and the Bents is that he traveled later, (he arrived in Salalah October 8th, 1930), did longer and more difficult journeys and was more interested in recording the Omanis’ speech and habits.

Many of the details he sets out are still prevalent as with the cushions hard as “medicine balls” in “bright scarlet or emerald-colored trappings” (17), the description of a dance (34), food preparation (e.g., making bread 166) and the list of shrines (85). He notices that men in the mountains do not eat chicken, a habit that is still followed by older men from the mountain tribes (59). Thomas tells the story of killing a chameleon brought in by an old man who then exclaims “it is treachery. I found it [the animal] innocent in a bush and it came along with me trusting and this is what I consent to happen to it” (63). I see exactly the same framework of not killing an animal being used by the Gibali men I know, to the point of a man not killing a scorpion which has stung him.

Thomas and Thesiger are divided by the Second World War. Thesiger traveled through present day Oman, Yemen and the United Arab Emirates between 1946 and 1950. In addition to Arabian Sands (1959), he published many articles on his travels (1946, 1948, 1949, 1950). Thesiger marks a break with the previous writers as he is neither an accidental traveler (like the shipwreck narratives) nor is he traveling for imperial benefits (anchorage/ supply depots) or even to collect knowledge for knowledge’s sake, but for personal interest and personal challenge.

Thesiger, like Thomas, crossed the Rub al Khali but he spent more time with his guides and was far more interested in their lives than Thomas. In talking about Dhofar, he mentions the traditional dark blue cloth (45), mountain honey for costal sardine trade (49), and throwing sticks (49) that are evident in the Bents’ and Thomas’ description, but he goes farther than any of them in explaining both his point of view and the point of view of his companions.

Thomas reports that “each of my companions not only knew at a glance the footmarks of every camel and man of my caravan, but claimed to know those of his absent tribe, and not a few of his enemies” (178). Thesiger gives the same information but includes specific examples (e.g., 122). Thomas notes that “where food or water were short, no one of them would think of not sharing it equally with his companions, and if anyone was away, perhaps tending his camels, all would wait his return to eat together” (157); this is an accurate description (still in practice today) but he did not ‘live’ this as Thesiger did, sitting thirsty and impatient for the others to come (65).

After Thesiger, the next travel writer is Jan (then James) Morris’ journey with Sultan Said bin Taymur from Salalah to the north of Oman in 1956 as described in Sultan in Oman (1957/ 2008). Whereas Dhofaris are discussed with accuracy and respect by Thesiger, Morris lets loose with insults as demeaning as the Bents. It is rather a surprise, after the gradually lowering racist/ condescending tone seen in the arc from the Bents through Thomas to Thesiger, to read her smug, complacent, and judgmental book.

She begins by widely overstating her achievement, declaring that she undertook “The last classic journeys of the Arabian Peninsula,” as if being driven in a jeep from Salalah to Muscat in 1956 was on par with Dougherty or Philby (1). To drive home the (moribund) English tradition, she notes that “Curzon and Gertrude Bell rose with us approvingly” (2).

She describes Gibalis as

tribes of strange non-Arab people…with their poor clothes, their indigo-stained faces, their immemorial prejudices. [In the monsoon season] the plain was full of these queer Stone Age figures, lean and handsome, and they wandered like fauns through the little marketplaces of Salala. (22)

They have “shaggy,” “strange” and “fuzzy” hair and practice “obscure rituals, taboos, and prejudices” (30, 39, 31). In keeping with the general tone of relegating the inhabitants to prehistoric times, there is no mention of guns. The people “hurl in the general direction of their neighbors the heavy throwing sticks (less scientific than boomerangs) with which they were sometimes quaintly armed” (40). It is clear than even in Thomas’ accounts, much less Thesiger, that the men of this region had access to and knowledge of guns. In fact, the cover of one edition is one of Thesiger’s photos showing Bin Ghabaisha holding a rifle.

The descriptions illuminate more about Morris’ travels than Oman, i.e., Risut is “Like a bay in Cornwall or northern California” (20). “The deeper we penetrated into these Qara foothills, the more lifeless and unearthly the country seemed… It was like an empty Lebanon;” the “abyss of Dahaq” is compared to “Boulder or Grand Coulee” and the Qara mountains “felt like England without the churches, or Kentucky without the white palings” (27, 27, 38). A small lake is “‘Better than the Backs,’ said my companion, ‘not so many undergraduates’” which only makes sense if the reader knows this is a term referring to the place where several Cambridge colleges back onto the River Cam (30).

Travel books about Dhofar from the 1980s onwards

Rory Allen’s Oman: Under Arabian Skies (2010) focus almost exclusively on the authors’ feelings, and when describing Omanis, the prose turns a distinct shade of orientalist purple, as in:

There is a sense of lawlessness [with the Bedu of Sharqiyah]…this anarchy gives one a sense of freedom and of a being without constraint. Rousseau’s “Noble Savage” comes to mind when looking at these Bedu, and they are noble and have not lost that primitive force inside. In Jungian terms their primitive psyche remains intact, that primeval power and urge that makes the Bedu so strong, so essential, individual, intuitive and spontaneous and above all it makes him so vital and impossible to control or rein in. This makes him the free spirit that down deep we all want to be. (Allen 2010 61)

There are several books by travelers or ex-pats about Oman which include a chapter or two about a weekend or short vacation in Dhofar. One of the first, and worst, examples is Suzanne St Albans, who visited in the late 1970s and wrote Where Time Stood Still: A Portrait of Oman (1980). Reminiscent of Jan Morris, she says of Gibalis that “certain freakish customs still linger on among the more primitive tribes” and gives “witchcraft murders” as an example (25). The Jibalis are “wild savages” who “refuse to be absorbed, disciplined or even understood” (153).  She refers to them as “primitive aborigines in the Qara [Mountains]” and “grand, pastoral, cave-dwelling noblemen have never worked with their hands” (152).[10] How would “primitive” people living in caves and herding flocks have survived if they had “never worked with their hands”?

Her writing creates a vision of an ancient, primitive people which erases the reality of the Dhofar region in the late 1970s. St Albans only carefully describes the life of a small percentage of the inhabitants, living in caves and rough dwellings in the mountains. She discusses “witch doctors” but not the many mosques or daily religious practices of Dhofaris (154). In Salalah at this time there was an airport, Holiday Inn, “shops and offices and ultra-modern television centre” and hospital (180) but she never shows Omanis interacting in/ working in these modern surroundings. The “comfortable seaside bungalow” she stays in is owned by British ex-pats who are described but when visiting the “model farm” she discusses the cows; there is no reference to Omanis who work there (163, 164).

Her account of the Dhofar War (1965-1975) shows sympathy only for the British soldiers who fought on the side of the government, which makes sense given that the first ‘thank you’ in her Acknowledgements section is to Brigadier Peter Thwaites. The second is “The Sultan’s Armed Forces provided transport where I wanted to go” (ix). Most of the other people mentioned are also British and military.

Musallim bin Nafl, the first leader of this revolution, is dismissed by the Duchess as “a useless loafer” and a “shiftless, bitter, dissatisfied layabout” but when she visits mountain villages she is appalled at the conditions (155, 156). She never connects the revolution encouraged by Musallim and the desperate poverty endured by his people. The difficulties of daily life she herself witnessed encouraged the mountain people to fight against their government which denied them the basic amenities of modern life such as schools and electricity.

Maria Dekeersmaeker’s The DNA of Salalah, Dhofar: A Tourist Guide (2011) is a guide just for the Dhofar region but it is unfortunately confusing with sentences such as “Horizontalism and parrellism are the trends in urban development of Salalah city. Off roads are the guidelines to the Rub al Khali Desert, the Dhofar Mountain Range and the coastal plains” (153).

The non sequiturs make the book difficult to read. The first section is called “In the Footsteps of the Sultan.” One sub-section entitled “Beloved Mother” about the Sultan’s mother starts with a discussion of falaj, water channels (32). The sub-section “Renaissance Landmarks Education” includes several paragraphs about football (soccer) stadiums and clubs in Salalah (34). The sub-section “Landscape Architecture” is about the Salalah Port and the next sub-section, “The European Connection,” is about the cement factory.

Her discussion of modern Dhofaris makes misleading mistakes to highlight the exoticness, i.e. “real Dhofar men wear a skirt and a t-shirt” (163) with a focus on the rural/ pre-modern. She divides Dhofaris into three groups (Bedu, Jebali and Hadr) and then describes their lives in terms of what animals they take care, as if in 2010 all three groups only herded animals and fished (55-56).

New essay: “’Ayn is for Arab” on “The Arabic Alphabet” website (by Michael Beard)

“The Arabic Alphabet” website (written by Michael Beard, illustrated by Houman Mortazavi) – http://alifbatourguide.com/

‘Ayn is for Arab – http://alifbatourguide.com/the-arabic-alphabet/ayn/

 

‘Ayn is for Arab  –  illustration by Houman Mortazavi   

If we are predisposed to linguistic timidity this is the sound that scares us off. Strictly speaking it is simply the voiced equivalent of ح. But.

I had met Sayed a few months before, in Australia, where he’d tutored me in Arabic. Our lessons foundered on the gagging “ah” sound that has no equivalent in English – or in any other language. “You sound as if you’re choking on spaghetti,” Sayed would say, correcting me. “Just choke. Forget the spaghetti.” He usually gave up after fifteen minutes and tutored me in the wiles of Cairo instead. (Tony Horwitz, Baghdad Without a Map, 72-73)

Even a respected linguist makes it sound a little forbidding: ‘Ayn (that’s its name) is

…the voiced pharyngeal fricative, the most characteristic sound of Arabic . . . the throat muscles are highly constricted with the vocal cords vibrating to produce a sound close to a gag.” (W.M. Thackston (in Introduction to Koranic and Classical Arabic, xvi)

A manual teaching the Urdu script, by a linguist who has evidently read Thackston, says that in Urdu the letter is a simple glottal stop, but that in Arabic it was “a sound made when the throat muscles are highly constricted and the vocal cords vibrate . . .” and adds “similar to the sound made when retching” (Richard Delaney, Beginner’s Urdu Script, 89). William Jones, long ago, in his grammar of Persian (1771) describes the sound in Arabic as “harsh,” and adds, quoting the 17th-century scholar Franciscus Meninski, that it resembles vox vituli matrem vocantis, which I believe means “the sound of a calf calling for its mother.”

Jonathan Raban, in an account of his own study of Arabic, resists the ‘Ayn temptation. It’s still a difficult sound, but it’s not frightening. He even makes it sexy.

continued at: http://alifbatourguide.com/the-arabic-alphabet/ayn/

New essay: “Ẓâ is for Ẓarf” on “The Arabic Alphabet” website (by Michael Beard)

New Essay: “Ṭâ Is For Talisman” on The Arabic Alphabet website

New essay: “Ṣâd is for Zero” on the Arabic alphabet website

Culture Shock – Communication is Always the Worst Part (Don’t Lie), part 2

(photo by Onaiza Shaikh, Instagram: Onaiza_Shaikh)

Culture Shock – Communication is Always the Worst Part, part 1

I realized as I am working on my next book, Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions (accepted for publication at Palgrave Macmillan), that I am often giving the advice “don’t lie” in different contexts.

For teachers, I mean: don’t say anything to your students that you can’t back-up. Making idle threats signifies that your word can’t be trusted. Once students think you say things you don’t mean, then trying to give directions and enforcing rules becomes progressively more difficult.

For researchers, I mean: don’t try to trick your informants. Explain what you are trying to do in realistic and honest terms. I wish researchers on the Arabian Peninsula who despise the people they are studying would be clear about their disdain so that there could be some honest dialog. Just writing down responses while silently reviling the people you are interviewing does not seem an effective way to do research to me.

For business professionals, I mean: don’t lie at the office by exaggerating your connections, your abilities, your background or your opinions.  

This is a large generalization that I am still thinking about/ trying to refine but what I see as a common trope in the States is that a ‘boss’ will speak more and employees will listen in one-on-one informal interactions. [I am not talking about formal contexts such as employee reviews or giving information.] Even kindly, well-meaning bosses may assume that they have interesting experiences to share and are often used to people listening carefully to them.

What I often found on the Arabian Peninsula was that non-North American, -UK and -EU managers often want underlings to talk in social conversations/ informal settings because of a differing understanding of the purpose of those conversations.

To me, the purpose is different because of how different cultures conceive of finding out and using personal information. In the States, many people are on websites such as LinkedIn. They often have a personal website connected to their university and/ or job, as well as various kinds of social media, so it’s easy to get data about someone. Plus, most employers have screening as a step in the hiring process and want a diverse workplace, or at the least have to follow state/ federal laws about employee protections.

So, pace outliers such as George Santos, people in a workplace usually trust that others are who they represent themselves to be. If someone says that won X prize or finished Y achievement, there will be some sort of digital proof. Thus, bosses don’t need to figure out who they are working with.

Often on the Arabian Peninsula, it is more difficult to get accurate information about someone. Someone might not be on LinkedIn, or their university/ former workplace might not have an active web presence so it’s impossible to verify their stated qualifications. A person’s social media presence might not be in their name as they might have opinions which would be problematic for their family, social group, workplace or government. And in tribal societies, you could have several people with the same first name, father’s name and tribe name but who have very different levels of social capital.

So, managers might use chit-chat as a way to gather more information, at the same time employees use social gatherings to highlight their social, academic or business credentials. I knew one person who would tell higher-ups that their grandmother was originally from the higher-ups’ country. Over the years, their grandmother changed nationality four times as the person tried to form connections with bosses from various cultures.

Another aspect of social discussions at work is to instill fear. I have known several people from one Arab country (not on the Arabian Peninsula) who would drop an obscure fact about my life into conversations. The first few times I showed my amazement and asked how they knew. They smiled and refused to explain. I realized that the goal was to put me on guard so I stopped reacting. I have never had that kind of interaction with an American.

I could drive myself crazy wondering how they figured out some obscure fact about my life but the easy way to live is to always tell the truth and let the chips fall where they may.

Culture Shock: The Parable of the Boxes

Reflections on Ethnographic Research: Getting it Wrong

Culture Shock: Bumpy Reentry and Moral Dilemmas

Teaching: Reflections on Culture Shocks

Culture Shock – Communication is Always the Worst Part, part 1

(photo by Onaiza Shaikh, Instagram: Onaiza_Shaikh)

A friend recently asked if I was planning to write about culture shock, I laughed and said, “that is all I write about.” And, as I have always avowed, the hardest part of culture shock is how to talk to people. You can adjust quickly enough to the clothes, food, meal times and public demeanor, but communicating is the real terror.

For example, in the States, age is off the table as factor in work conversations. Talking to a person who is older than you does not create a power differential.

Also, American conversations are like ping-pong, incessant back and forth. Someone gets in a comment and then it’s the other person’s serve. I keep forgetting that I am supposed to ask the question back!

After living for years with people who will tell you what they want to, when they want to – I am out of practice of asking questions. Now, someone will inquire, “How was your weekend?” and I say, “Fine, thanks.” Then five minutes later I remember that I was supposed to say, “How was yours?”

In Oman, the research guys and I would do endless repetitions of “how are you?” but no one really cared about the answer. If someone wanted to talk about their weekend, they would start in. And if they wanted to talk for 45 minutes, they would. I still remember the first time an Omani decided to tell me about their weekend: it was a 20-minute monolog. Don’t try that in USA.

This past week I watched a conversation in which one person was trying to explain how to do something and the other person kept interrupting to focus on just the data that they wanted. It was excruciating for me, but the two Americans were well-pleased with each other. One had taught and one had learned in a fencing-match style that was exhausting to listen to (no one finished a sentence!) but was exactly the kind of interaction they both expected and were ready for.

It’s accepted in America that people can pick their input. There’s an implied: I can choose what information you are giving me and I only have to pay attention to information that I think is relevant or important at this moment. For example, all those people moving through cityscapes while texting, missing when the walk sign lights up because they are looking at their phone.

In Oman, it’s more common to pay attention to surroundings and when dealing with people, you need to focus on their motivations as what you are hearing is less important than what you are seeing. For example, compliments were often meaningless, and often used to bring attention to a problem not convey something positive.

One example this week was that several people told me about a mysterious quirk in Google maps that showed up in relation to our work building which had been on-going for over a year. I figured out the reason within a day. I had the same data they did, but I was looking at it from the perspective of an outsider who was unused to navigating with apps. I always had to use my own knowledge to decide where I was walking/ driving.

Another example was when a person suggested a major change in one aspect of the work-flow as a certain delay was creating anxiety in one group of people. My suggestion was to reframe the issue for the anxious people. Don’t buy into their framework that the delay was a worrisome/ bothersome pause. Posit the delay was a beneficial and deliberate slowing down of the system to ensure everything was perfect before the data went live. The delay helps them from making mistakes. That kind of rethinking comes from years of living in Oman and being told (implicitly and explicitly) that I must always know what other people are thinking/ how they see the world so I figure out how I can best communicate with them.

So, I have skills in some areas, but I still need a lot of work in others . So… “How was your weekend?”

Culture Shock: The Land of Detachment and Toolboxes

Bumpy Reentry and Moral Dilemmas – Adjusting to Life in the States

Culture Shock: (Not) Being Under Observation

Culture Shock: The Basics

Culture Shock: Bumpy Reentry and Moral Dilemmas

Living in a small apartment with big windows in a tepid climate, until sunset on most days the only electricity I use is running the fridge.

Weather report predictions are usually way off. In Oman it was warm and humid for 9 months, drizzly and humid for 3 months and there was always plenty of warning about storms. Here, every day is a chance for an unannounced rainstorm or unexpected heat wave.

Amazing how everything is set up for people who are at least lower middle class. I got an e-mail which assumed I could print a document, sign it, scan it and send it as pdf within 10 minutes, as if it was normal for every person to have a multi-function printer at home.

I love my grocery store because it has all the daily requirements (Peeps, yellow mustard, frozen pretzels, crab cakes and fresh juices) but it is small. There is everything you need (chips, tea towels, flower bouquets, apple pie, mops) but with a limited selection so you don’t feel overwhelmed. But one item they don’t have is… matches. In fact, none of the stores have them so I had to order from an on-line store and have matches sent to me. Coming from a place in which many people smoked so matches and lighters were available everywhere, it is odd to buy matches by mail.

I was looking forward to being invisible in the States, i.e., wearing clothes that lots of other people were wearing, in particular sundresses! I have a collection of six brightly colored, floral, cotton sundresses and always felt like a parrot amongst sleek, tuxedoed penguins in Oman. But when I left my new apartment in a cotton candy pink dress with magenta flowers, I soon realized that there was not one other person in the neighborhood in anything similar. Day after day, store after store, I kept looking for a soulmate but after several weeks I have to concede defeat.

Moral dilemmas

People looking at their phone while waiting for crosswalks on the way home from work are so focused that they don’t notice when the ‘walk’ sign lights up. I start walking, hoping that their peripheral vision will alert them to motion, but once I crossed a street, glanced back and saw all ten people had not moved. Should I make a verbal comment? I am tempted to bark “ten-hut, forward march,” but that might be a bit muchish.

My wallet now has a coin pouch, so I decided to keep quarters in it and use them for parking meters about to expire. One day I came upon a parking policeperson giving a ticket to the first car in a line of six vehicles. I walked to the second parking meter and started slotting in quarters. She saw what I was doing and quickly briskly to the third car. I was just behind her and dropped in a quarter but she had already taken a photo of license plate and said, “They are getting a ticket.” So, I moved quickly to the last three cars and dropped quarters. She was scowling and I walked on wondering what would happen if the owner showed up and saw the ticket on the windshield when there was time left on the meter. Drama!

The post office near where I live has no postcard stamps, so I put on full price stamps. No problem. But then the main post office for the area also had no post card stamps and I had a buy a full sheet of full-price stamps to get the 2 stamps I needed for postcards. Complain? Stop writing postcards?

Culture Shock: The Land of Detachment and Toolboxes

photo by Onaiza Shaikh,

Instagram: Onaiza_Shaikh

To survive in the US, you need scissors, 8 square feet of empty floor space, a complete collection of tools (screwdrivers, hammers, wrenches, etc.) and a cell phone.

That’s it.

You use your phone to order everything for your apartment and then you use your floor space and tools to put it all together: a fan, a lamp, pots and pans, bookshelves, etc. I am having a hard time adjusting to the IKEAfication of the States where everyone is expected to have a Masters of Mechanical Engineering. You have to set up your own wi-fi, make chairs, reset the garbage disposal and hang pictures, no matter your manual dexterity or skill level with drills.

Even the simplest action (opening a container of guacamole!) requires patience. First you have to take off the cardboard cover, then take off the lid, then take off the inner cover.

On bad days I think American consumers have been sold a load of codswallop and told it was spun gold; everything is impersonal and do-it-yourself. Coming into the system is over-whelming; I have to deal with 3 different apps for my apartment building. Farewell to the happy days of simply calling Ali, world’s best landlord, for repairs!

But there are benefits of living in a culture in which transactions are often impersonal: there’s no one to create chaos out of personal animosity. Getting a lease required submitting certain forms: if you don’t have the paperwork, you don’t get the apartment. There’s no way to influence the outcome through networking or to stop the rental through enmity.

If you want to do anything, you go to websites, tap in information, get codes sent to your cell phone, enter the codes, type some more and voila! Then you spend hours putting whatever you ordered together, but at least it is all at your own speed and under your control.

When I think of leaving Oman, I have numerous unhappy memories of chaos with people deliberately lying to me and others about processes. I spent 2 1/2 hours my last morning in Oman trying to get people to complete a task I was told would be done days earlier. I finished the paperwork on my severance pay with ten minutes to spare before the bank closed – a harrowing and upsetting end to 19 years!

However, I don’t think systems are necessarily better in the States. It’s often entertaining in Oman to have so many things based on personal relationships; almost everything is negotiable if you stay pleasant. Yes, you can get the ‘forbidden’ I-tunes music program onto your computer if you get along with the computer tech person. When I went to get my first covid vaccine, the nurse told me to come back in a week. I said, “I live alone and I am scared,” and she gave me the vaccine.

In the States, crying, screaming, smiling or begging are of no avail: you either have the little computer code on your phone or you don’t. It’s not better, not worse – different. And I don’t say this lightly. Many times I talked to my students about how, when you arrive in the USA, everyone stands in one of two immigration lines. If the line takes 2 hours, then you stand for two hours. There are not people, as on the Arabian Peninsula, who walk along and pull people out of the immigration line who have young children or need assistance.

New book – Researching and Working on the Arabian Peninsula: Creating Effective Interactions

Culture Shock: The Basics

Reflections on Ethnographic Research: Getting it Wrong

Reflections on Ethnographic Work: Mental Maps and Wayfinding Apps in Dhofar, Oman